Trapped

[Raining]

Hi All. I am new to these forums. I have hit a real low point. I suffer from depression and anxiety myself. My partner of 8 years suffers from chronic severe depression to the point that he cannot get out of bed for days at a time. We both already see psychiatrists. He has been in and out of jobs for the past few years. He has always been kind and gentle with me. But I’m at the point that I feel I cannot cope anymore. I love him so much but I don’t want to live a miserable life. Any advice or suggestions will be helpful.

[quirkywords]

Welcome Raining to the forums.

It is hard to reach out and post for the first time so well done.

Looking adtre and lving with someone with chronic depression is hard to cope with when one is in good health. However when one has depression an anxiety oneself it makes it very very difficult and a real balancing acting.

If you health deteriorates you won't be able to help you partner at all so it is a good idea for you to see your doctor and have chat about what is going on and how it affects you.

Has you partner ever been to hospital or have you had any respite from him.?

Does he have any family that could him why you took a break?..

Your health both mental and physical is most important and you need help.

There is the Beyondblue support line with trained people who will listen to you and help you.

1300 22 4636. Sometimes having chat to an experienced support service can give you new ideas.

Thanks for sharing your story and post whenever you feel up to it as I am interested in how you are going.

Quirky

[Croix]

Dear Raining~

We can all give to others, it's part of human nature, and is often an expression of love, as well as of feelings of responsibility. When this is a daily activity over a long period it becomes a way of life. And that is not an altogether good thing. Everyday activities and attitudes take over and perspective takes a back seat.

We all have limits, both physical and mental, and can give till we have little or nothing left. When that happens we are putting ourselves at risk. From a practical point we are no longer able to give, and are most probably in a bad state. One that is worse than if we had not tried so hard. An example might be ending up in hospital, or being consistently angry or ... well l I guess you can fill in the blanks.

It does not mean a lack of love, or failure of duty to take care of oneself. In fact it is really the only way if one wants to maintain things long term.

So I guess you need to rethink what you are doing and find some way of sharing the burden of your partner and his illness. As I don't know your circumstances I'm hesitant to make suggestions other than the obvious, see to your medical support, lead a lifestyle that is good for you with exercise and things you enjoy on a regular basis.

More of a life of your own perhaps?

Please reply and say what you think

Croix

[Raining]

Thank you for your reply Quirky. He has been in hospital before a couple of times before I met him. He has been reluctant to go back as he says it is a depressing place to be. His family is lovely. I have not reached out to them before, but I have in the last couple of days and they are very supportive. I have booked an appointment with my doctor. Thanks again.

[Raining]

Thank you for your reply Croix. It is comforting to know that there are people who know exactly how I feel. I am consistently angry all the time. I have always taken on other people's stuff. In this instance I have extremely low energy as a result. I hear what you are saying about creating a life of my own and I will work towards that. Thanks again.

[Croix]

Dear Raining~

I'm very pleased contacting his family has worked so well - exactly what you need. You have soldiered on alone for too long.

Booking that appointment with your own GP is also a pretty good step. Hopefully that anger will start to subside.

Please let us know how you go

Croix