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Tired, worn out, sick of being expected to do everything and not being respected.

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Well not a good day for me. I am so down and out and sick of everything. My 2 older kids went interstate with their dad (my ex husband) last week for a few days as his new GF lives there. My eldest daughter cam home sick, coughing, sneezing etc. She has ben sick for a week and still not better. My little one is now also coughing and sneezy. My ex husband has gone back interstate of course as he is renting an apartment there and goes back and forth every week. It frustrates me that his life just goes on like one big holiday while I am stuck looking after sick kids. He is a selfish liar, doesn't think he should have to do anything. Does not think about anyone but himself and putting on a show to impress people. He works for himself, always used the excuse of work to get out of things but clearly its just another lie as he can work from interstate while he visits his GF without any problem. I am so tired, not much sleep as the girls are coughing at night. My little ones dad does all his things first and I feel worries about us last and i'm so sick of it. I feel they both just expect me to deal with everything, making excuses to get out of any responsibility. I don't ask much of anyone but when I do I always have to be let down. Selfish, selfish, selfish liars. Am I that worthless to everyone? I mean seriously do they really expect me to just do everything? I feel like telling them both to go to hell and packing up and moving. It is so cold today. I cant take much more of everyone being sick and the cold weather.
81 Replies 81

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

well, still no word from him. oh well. I may have been harsh on him but I was anxious and depressed and obviously very upset that we were centimetres away from a car accident and the implications for me. he found all that humorous.

sometime ago, whilst he was going through anxiety he rang me saying that he regretted his behaviour and God was punishing him for the way he behaved, that he behaved badly.

he's clearly forgotten all that, his anxiety softened him but when he's feeling better his arrogant and over confident. I snap at him too, especially when I'm stressed but I would never attack him when he has high anxiety.

is it possible for someone to think they are so faultless. there is something about when people treat everything like a joke, they don't know how to express feeling or emotions.

why does he display so much anger and hatred towards people who are a factor in his life i.e his parents, me the mother of his child?i know he cant show feelings and emotions except for contempt and anger.

it must be hard to live a life like this, to be incapable of expressing feelings.

Touille
Community Member
He must be narcissist.

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Touille,

I have wondered that ( he called me one) but then I thought perhaps I was looking for an excuse for his behaviour rather than accepting its his character.

We have my nephews wedding next month and he is invited as he is quite polite with my family. I waited 4 days to get a response as to whether he was coming kept saying i'll see how I feel, have to check with my mum as we have a family function and his mum already rsvp'd, oh not sure blah blah blah...4 days to get an answer. He always says the way he feels he doesn't want to go anywhere, but how does he feel? Hes been using this excuse for years and he is better and good to go to other things. He told me his mum asked if he was going to their family function and rsvp'd but turns out he wasn't even invited but he told me he could not say no to his cousins function He finally told me he should be right to come but I would not be surprised if he doesn't, even though I made it clear his answer needs to be definite as they are paying a lot of money and would be paying for his plate (he tried to use this as an excuse not to come). It would not surprise me if he backs out at the last minute which he has done to me before. The family function he mentioned was his cousins with whom he used to go out all the time and leave me home. it turned out he was not invited only his parents. I asked what the function was and his response was he didn't know but he would find out. the way he said it was so typical of him feeling he'd been hard done by. he couldn't believe his cousin hadn't invited him. If he lets me down I will have to cover for him and face the embarassment. He will get a piece of my mind as I made it clear its a wedding, you cant just pull out as they are paying for him and its not cheap.

Touille
Community Member

Hey Cmf,

Sounds like he is a Mummys boy, rude and definitely is a irresponsible person.

It's good you are reminding about your nephews wedding as they have paid for him. I hope he goes as he will act sensible there by the sounds of it. Don't let his attitude affect the special occasion when you do go, just enjoy the wedding and family association and ignore his criticism if you starts. The guy is a real attention seeker. Make your best effort to try and make him go.

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Thanks Touille,

I was thinking id enjoy myself more if he didn't come but he was invited and I couldn't ignore that and not tell him. I also thought it wold be nice to go all together I don't want to exclude him where the little one is involved. He probably will start criticizing and being negative but I'll try to ignore it. I don't get any opportunities to really dress up so I'm looking forward to it. The last few years have seen only death, my grandmother, my mum, my brother in law and my dad so we need something uplifting. Of course if anyone's going to ruin it, it will be him...but he may surprise me. I've been asked to do reading in the church which is lovely. I'm quite honoured.

I'm surprised he didn't reply to my message re looking after the little one Sunday so I could book the market stall. No matter how things are he usually says yes to looking after her so its odd, unless the message didn't go through which I doubt.

its possible he's not feeling great again but I will not ring. I don't need his attitude and arrogance now and I havre nothing to say to him. The way I se it, he is at fault and should be making the effort. I don't need his crap right now.

Touille
Community Member

I'm sorry you lost all those relatives, that would be heartbreaking, a wedding would make plenty of fun. Your nephew must like you to ask you to give a speech, that's nice.

Oh, I hope you can enjoy time with your little girl, sorry to hear you may not be able to go to the market. It's good you involve him in his daughters life for her sake. Limit your time around him, you don't need any criticism.

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Maybe I should tell him not to bother coming. He clearly doesn't care about me. He knows how much work I've put into preparing for the market and to get no response is a clear message that he doesn't care. He can do what he wants when he wants. He goes to work, ear so money. Now that I've been trying to these markets he should respect that I want to do something for me. It was also a chance for him to spend time with the little one, he should appreciate that too.

As I sit here on my own, another lonely Friday night I think about these things.

Touille
Community Member

Well, it's sad not to have a sensible person around.

Same here, lonely night. So when do your older kids come home?

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

They come back Sunday night. I enjoy it being a bit quieter but it can get lolly.

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
I've been followed wing outdoorsgirl's thread and how het husband gets up set if the dishwasher isn't stacked properly. It reminded me of a market I did last year. I started packing the car at the end, I knew how it needed to be packed to fit everything in. HE came along and started moving things around and repacking it. What is this? Why would you come along and rearrange it when it was fine? Superiority complex, control, ot just trying to help?he didn't say anything, just started rearranging. Maybe he was trying to make himself feel useful? I had to put it back the way it was so it would all fit but I've never understood how he can come along and do that. Just thinking out loud.