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Tired, worn out, sick of being expected to do everything and not being respected.

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Well not a good day for me. I am so down and out and sick of everything. My 2 older kids went interstate with their dad (my ex husband) last week for a few days as his new GF lives there. My eldest daughter cam home sick, coughing, sneezing etc. She has ben sick for a week and still not better. My little one is now also coughing and sneezy. My ex husband has gone back interstate of course as he is renting an apartment there and goes back and forth every week. It frustrates me that his life just goes on like one big holiday while I am stuck looking after sick kids. He is a selfish liar, doesn't think he should have to do anything. Does not think about anyone but himself and putting on a show to impress people. He works for himself, always used the excuse of work to get out of things but clearly its just another lie as he can work from interstate while he visits his GF without any problem. I am so tired, not much sleep as the girls are coughing at night. My little ones dad does all his things first and I feel worries about us last and i'm so sick of it. I feel they both just expect me to deal with everything, making excuses to get out of any responsibility. I don't ask much of anyone but when I do I always have to be let down. Selfish, selfish, selfish liars. Am I that worthless to everyone? I mean seriously do they really expect me to just do everything? I feel like telling them both to go to hell and packing up and moving. It is so cold today. I cant take much more of everyone being sick and the cold weather.
81 Replies 81

blondguy
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi cmf

I know your ex husband is placing himself first and has no empathy for what you are going through too. Then your children get sick....I hear you loud and clear.Your plate is overflowing for sure.

I have seen you help so many people here on the forums its sad that you dont get some good karma where your quality of life is concerned.

I feel your pain on this cold weather too, I just walked Prince in 10C....ugh! It reminded me of working at Mt Buller...so cold....

Do you have any support ...friends...family that can help? You deserve a break cmf

25C in Melbourne tomorrow and 24C on Friday......cant wait.

I hope your day gets better cmf....seriously

(Warm Hugs)

Paul

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Paul,

Arctic weather in Melbourne, that's for sure. I'm so sick of it. I do hope the next few days are better.

I enjoy looking around the forums to see if I can be of any help. I am hoping some good karma comes my way with other things I do in life too. I feel unheard, un noticed.

I don't have much support really. My parents have passed away, my siblings don't live close by and they work and have their own lives. They are quite a bit older than me. Its just me and the kids. The little ones dad tries to help but he is oblivious to many things. Always late, I feel I cant trust or rely on him or maybe I'm too harsh on him because of the past. Maybe I need to let go a little and have more trust in him. He's just let me down so much in the past. We clash on so many levels.

I just don't know anymore.

blondguy
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hey cmf, you and I have gone through the same with contact (access) I am not saying what you are going through isnt a pain at all. I tried to see my 3 year old daughter for 10 months and my ex kept preventing access (contact)

If I may ask...why is your youngest one's dad being a pain in the bum? I understand he is late and oblivious which is a pain but why cant you trust him? (I am not supporting him...just envious of the contact he has with his son/daughter)

Im not an expert in anyway...but is there a pseudonym or a 'tag'/'name' that I can address you by? (cmf is fine of course if thats what you wish) Excuse I...just asking...:-)

Im sorry about your parents cmf, (Hugs) Paul x

Solosombra
Community Member

Ah cmf it seems like things are overflowing for you as of late. I dont know what its like having to deal with sick children but i do know what its like to deal with selfish people who like to take advantage. Its never a nice thing especially when said person is supposed to be helping....

and trusting someone who has constantly let you down is never easy so dont be so hard on urself when it comes to that, i get why you would be weary of trusting him again.

I do believe good karma will come back for you cmf 🙂 stay strong xox

I might not reply straight away but i will read and reply as soon as i can

Big hugs

Kiamau x

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Paul and Kiamau,

I find it hard to trust him as I find him to be a little irresponsible and careless at times. When the little one was a baby he would suggest not buckling her into her car seat as it was too restricting or when she was walking and he would cross the road not at a crossing her would let her walk across rather than carry her. I had to point out how dangerous this was as drivers cannot see children as they are below the level of the bonnet. even if he held her hand she was not visible to drivers. It freaked me out that he would even do this. I know he has not had children before but this is common sense. There are other things where he is careless not related to her so this makes be doubt him a lot. I feel he is not aware of things that you need to careful of with children.

I am very protective of her. She had surgery at 5 weeks old and I thought I was going to lose her. I don't trust anyone with here really but that is my fear/issue. Not long ago he came past and wanted to take her out shopping to a large shopping centre. In the past I have said I wasn't comfortable as I'm worried he might lose her. Anyway on this day I let them go. They had a good time an I had a bit of 'me' time. I've been to a few markets on the weekends and he has looked after her for the time I'm away and its gone well. It is actually good for me to have that break but being anxious as I am I get scared. If he had to pick her up from kinder I would not trust him to be on time for example. Also I have a fear that anything he I involved in goes wrong, like he is a jinx. This has formed from a history of things going wrong when he is around so yes I am paranoid. I am trying to let go a little and have more faith in him but after what I have seen her go through as a baby I would never forgive myself if anything happened to her.

I'd never deny him seeing her but I worry about her all the time.

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

I'm tired, I'm so tired. Tired of my life, tired of stressing, tired of being anxious, tired of being lonely, tired of everything.

im exhausted and can't sleep, my mind won't stop. My goodness I wish it would go away. I look terrible, I feel terrible. Why do others have it so easy? Why do I have to feel like this? Why can't I be happy?

im so tired of it all.

blondguy
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hey

Im sorry that you were treated this way.....I just dont understand how someone can laugh at you when he has had his own issues with anxiety.....for 2 years too!

Its hard to comment as your old issues are your business and not anyone else's. I just read my first post to your thread (above).....He really doesnt 'get it'...He is really void of any empathy

Sadnan
Community Member

Cfm I know how it feels when it seems you just give and give and no one seems to notice or care. You unfortunately can not change the way some people are but instead look for the things that they don't have.

Your interstate ex he may seem to have the great life but seriously while travelling back and forward he is missing out on all that quality time with his children and trust me when they get older they will know who it is that was there all the time. It is you who will share all the special moments with your children who will get the special hugs and love that only a child can give not him.

all babies are precious but when one so small has to undergo lifesaving treatment it makes them even more precious to us. The fact that her father wants to spend so much time with her shows his love unfortunately being a first time dad and probably never having to have the responsibility of caring for anyone other than himself he still needs to learn a lot. I am sure that with patience and baby steps he will Show you that where she is concerned he can be responsible.

Try to find the good in each day.....the smile from your children, the empty plates at the end of dinner, the smell of them when they get out of the bath, snuggling under a blanket while watching a movie. these are the things that will show you what a great job your doing and how much your appreciated. And yes I know it's not always easy to see them when so many negatives seem to jump out in front of you x

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hey Paul,

Yeah, I don't know. I wanted to get out of the house, he suggested dinner, I cant help the way I'm feeling. Oh well. He always picks up on things I'm doing wrong with everything, not necessarily in a bad way, he does it to help but I just feel I'm being hammered into the ground, when I trying to get up. He was worse when he was sick (not his fault) and I told him he just hammers me down. Of course he didn't like that.

I don't want to portray him as a complete meanie, he does try to help and does have peoples best interests at heart, especially for the little one but yes, he just doesn't get it sometimes. He will suggest things that are just not viable and if I point this out he just doesn't understand. He doesn't have to juggle kids and everything else, if he wants to do something he can just do it. I have to rely on others to help out with the kids if I need to do something.

He's just oblivious. Him and my ex husband, but in different ways. Either way I'm the one that suffers.

cmf x