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Tired, worn out, sick of being expected to do everything and not being respected.

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Well not a good day for me. I am so down and out and sick of everything. My 2 older kids went interstate with their dad (my ex husband) last week for a few days as his new GF lives there. My eldest daughter cam home sick, coughing, sneezing etc. She has ben sick for a week and still not better. My little one is now also coughing and sneezy. My ex husband has gone back interstate of course as he is renting an apartment there and goes back and forth every week. It frustrates me that his life just goes on like one big holiday while I am stuck looking after sick kids. He is a selfish liar, doesn't think he should have to do anything. Does not think about anyone but himself and putting on a show to impress people. He works for himself, always used the excuse of work to get out of things but clearly its just another lie as he can work from interstate while he visits his GF without any problem. I am so tired, not much sleep as the girls are coughing at night. My little ones dad does all his things first and I feel worries about us last and i'm so sick of it. I feel they both just expect me to deal with everything, making excuses to get out of any responsibility. I don't ask much of anyone but when I do I always have to be let down. Selfish, selfish, selfish liars. Am I that worthless to everyone? I mean seriously do they really expect me to just do everything? I feel like telling them both to go to hell and packing up and moving. It is so cold today. I cant take much more of everyone being sick and the cold weather.
81 Replies 81

Music_Freak
Community Member

I don't feel like I have a lot that I can add, but I can definitely relate to the family having no empathy remark that was made here...my family are just like that!

I really hope you feel more positive soon. I'm here to listen anyway 🙂 Venting is good for the soul too

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi sadnan,

Thank you for your beautiful words. With my little one in particular I do know the issues are mine and I need to let go. I do think I'm a little hard on him but this stems from a lot of hurt caused by him that I cannot forgive. I guess I'm just hurting myself by being like this. The little one does love him and I'm grateful for that considering he wasn't around much but she knows exactly who he is and he does want the best for her.

thanks again

cmf

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Thx Music freak,

yeah it sucks when people who should care just don't. Sorry you have to experience this too.

cmf x

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Well I copped his verbal crap again today. I was already depressed, had been crying when we were out. Idont feel well, I'm shivery, feel just not right. he was so busy criticising me for something I said that he turned left into a very narrow street and almost smashed right into a car coming down the street. He's done this before turning into narrow streets. He then joked about it, I was a bit shaken and upset (it's my car) -and he laughed about it. I told him I didn't understand how he found humour in some things and he went off at me. Saying I must be on drugs fir saying it would have been his fault if we had crashed, that he on,y needs to check his right when Turning left. Yes I agree but if turning into a narrow street that does not fit cars going both ways then I think he should have been more cautious as he had a give wY sign. He said he didn't know the car was coming and I said yes and the car wasn't exoecting him to just turn into the st, it had right if way and that he should have been more cautious. He said sorry to the other driver so he knows he was wrong but will not admit it to me. He kept yelling at me saying the other car was on his side of the rd. the street was narrow, it wa s like one lane as there are parked cars, I told him he just can't accept that he was wrong and he yelled and kept yelling. When he got out of the car I just broke down. How do you yell at someone with depression? Is he a normal human being? I already waiting for him to repair the front where he hit a pole.

as I moved to the drivers seat I found a piece of paper. It was the death notice from the newspaper when my dad passed. I had it in my wallet. I have no idea how it wS on the drivers side floor of the car, near the car. How did it get There? Was it a sign? Is my Dad watching over me? I butrstbintontears when I saw it and he just stood there yelling at me. He's just an idiot, he thinks he is just above everyone. We had lunch with his sister and because she had a different opinion on a topic he just telling her she was wrong. She kept saying that a difference of opinion doesn't make her wrong, she is entitled to her opinionated he just kept telling her she was wrong. I seen him do this to her before.

i feel so out of whack. This is not a normal human being. Who does? Who thinks they are so perfect that they can't admit they may have been at fault. Who is this person that yells at someone crying with depression? Who is he? What is he? Idiot!

Music_Freak
Community Member

I could see a lot of my family in what you wrote, scarily so.

How are you now? Feeling any better or just worse. I'm sorry he was like that with you. Some people are just ass wipes sadly.

I really don't think you did anything wrong. I know just how hard it is to get over things like that so I'm not going to say anything like that (I still struggle with getting over/letting go if stuff). You just have to try and believe you were correct in your concerns and his reaction was extreme.

The death notice may well have been a sign. I like to believe that when I dream about my mum 🙂

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Music Freak,

i feel really upset. I want to text him and tell him he is an abusive pig but he doesn't deserve the energy it would take for me to do this.

im so glad the death notice didn't get blown away, it's my only copy. It's so freaky, we were talking about my dad, that's why he was having a go at me in the first place because he disagreed with something I said, it was about mt dad. Why would the notice be on the door frame of my car? How did it get out of my wallet? My wallet was in my bag.

hes sending me a sign. I don't know what it is, I wish I knew as I need some support right now.

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

He's an arrogant pig, a bully. Yelling st me when I've been in tears with depression.

he brags about how good he is with the little one, that she gets her way with me but with him he's so good at teaching her she can't get her way. Pretty easy when you only have to do it once in a blue moon. My goodness, he is just so good at everything. I mean how could anyone even think about questioning anything that comes out of his mouth? He is like a God, he is right and the rest of the WORLD is wrong, yes the WORLD. And you know why everyone is wrong? Because he says so. If he reads it, it's right, if anyone has a different opinion well you're just wrong, there is no other option.

i should be kissing his feet. He is a controlling, overconfident pig who thinks the world owes him but he can abuse who he wants, when he wants and if you stand up to him you're in the firing line.

i want to pack up and piss off out of here, away from him and his crazy family. Gods gift to the world.

Moonstruck
Community Member

Dear CMF

I am so sorry I haven't seen what a terrible situation you've had crashing down on you like this. Forgive me - I've been so caught up in my own stuff and you've always been so sweet, funny and supportive when I've needed you. I think you're brilliant....this idiot you are describing isn't worth a minute you spend with him.....do you really have to be in his company for lengthy periods of time as it sounds horrendous and not enjoyable at all for you!

Its such a hard situation with your little ones to consider as well, you are invariably locked into an interaction with him yourself, unfortunately.....I couldn't bear it. Can you try and limit the times you are with him alone, i.e. try not to give him the opportunity of belittling you like he does - don't tell him your feelings or share anything you don't have to with him at all! he is not worth even the tiniest little bit of you..(now I am getting angry with him and I haven't even met him!!)

Yes I do think that newspaper clipping was a message...I'm a firm believer in "signs and symbols" that are meant to comfort us when none seems available....it was your father saying

"I'm here, I'm holding you, everything is going to be all right". Much love sweetheart....peace to you tonight.

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Thank you Moon, I don't know what's wrong with me, why I'm so depressed. It's similar to you, I have bad anxiety and now I'm so depressed.

when it rains or the weather is bad the Chanel 10 stations on my to do not work properly. Last year they were not working at all. The day my Dad died I came home that evening and they were working. They had not worked for so long before that. It was him saying goodbye.

today was extremely windy and early this evening it started raining but I've got the tv on and the channels are working again despite the weather. I'm feeling just as I did the day my Dad died. I'm sitting here crying, watching Chanel 11, I've been upset all day. The day he died I cried in the evening and I was with the little ones dad, same as today. The day my dad died My cousin rang and we had a nice chat, it lifted my spirits. Today my neighbours came past to discuss something with me and we had a bit of a chat, it lifted my spirits fir a short. It's like I'm going through that day again but under different circumstances. I honestly don't know how that death notice found its way there. It was in a compartment of my wallet that I don't really use. I dint take my wallet out in the car so how did it get there?

i don't know what's going on. I need to ride this storm, maybe cry it out.

Music_Freak
Community Member

Yeah, do everything you can to rise above him (and avoid him whenever possible). You don't need the stress - focus on yourself.

As they say start loving yourself (another thing I know is so hard). I wish I could slap him or something

You cry it out and maybe talk to your dad about stuff. Hopefully you'll wake up to a new better day tomorrow