The game of love

[Scared]

I dont want to offer anybody advice on dating rather than my own thoughts and beliefs to a question put to me on why should this particular person make some changes to appearance and attitude for the relationships they want.

When I offered some advice I was answered back by " why should I make any changes and why cant someone take me as I am "

This is a valid point and I agree fully.

If this was about wrong or right then I agree wholeheartedly.

But unfortuneatly the laws of attraction are not based on wrong or right but based upon whats working or not working for you. 
You can go on all day about your good enough so why is this person still not been able to find someone to share their life with.

I mean he has already told me he is good enough has the confidence to not need to change anything so then if he is so right then why cant he find some one.  Why 

I have a analogy to share about wrong or right and it maybe too cryptic but I do my best as I never had problems attracting the opp sex.

It goes like this

I loved fishing when I was growing up.  At a certain time of year after rain these big fish would come out briefly at daybreak for 20 mins only.

The problem with these fish they would only eat a certain fillet of fish and it had to be fresh.

So i had to go to the pier the night before to catch these small fish and keep the fillets fresh in fridge.

I tried all the other convenient frozen baits but no it had to be freshly caught fish if you had a chance to catch these monsters.  The law of attraction for these fish was effort.

I could argue all day with these fish how my frozen prawn is good enough and how much easier it would be for me to be reasonable but no they wernt buying that cop out.

I could argue they are wrong not taking bait and how right i am giving them good enough fish bait.

So I learnt its not about wrong or right its about " what works"

So to my friend I said you can hold on to being right not to make changes or you can start doing what works.

Just had to write that for some reason.  I learnt to change  if I wanted success and took responsibility for the things I wanted to attract and that meant in this case the long walk to the pier the night before.  The fished showed me their law and followed it

[randomxx]

ls this the one that left or someone new ?

l was married 22yrs unfortunately we broke up. There's been someone new last 5 1/2 yrs but it's been a long and v complicated situation from day one bc she had v serious legal matters and huge stress, just to name some of. Atm we've broken up, 2 or 3rd time but we still talk , even just today. She has MH and health in general problems too but then she has her ways, culture, head and personality ways, plus her English as well.

Point is,so it's been a bit of a ride but if there's one thing with her, if she thinks this or believes that, there's nothing, nothing, not even proof in front of her own eyes will change her mind and we've had a lot of ups and downs.

Generally we get along really well especially considering we're from opposite sides of the world but we're also both fiery if pushed and add in the head block she has, there's no getting around anything if a fight or disagreement. So over the yrs l stopped taking them serious a long time ago there's a lot of things she'll just never get bc it's her way and that is that, so l gave up bothering. 

Might be an idea for your situation bc man it all use to stress me out so much and it sure wouldn't be helping you atm either. lt was a huge weight lifted once l excepted that.

Even the break up now is about her MH and physical health she says she just can't be in a relationship she can't cope for two, trouble for even one. But really, it's all basically about that head of hers again truth be told bc now she's even more depressed stressed and miserable but she can't see that either, she was never like that with us but apparently being like this is easier- go figure.

Well l've made my own plans now l'm moving and going traveling for awhile and maybe making your own plans for you and your life from here whatever you'd like it to be for you, excepting her and the situation might help you too.

l'm glad l'm not beating my head against the wall anymore.

[Scared]

Its the same one

[randomxx]

My other brothers 2 yrs older than you and his w is 38.No idea on her views don't know her v well but he never seems too worried about it.

ldk what your plans are but really, you gotta shake these thoughts and worries about sickness n worse my friend, u can't live life worrying about that stuff embrace the goods, life's a gift and short enough as it is.

And personally , if she's not worried about it and doesn't see where your coming from me, l'd let that ride, u can only lead the horse to water, yaknow, and you've tried that.

[Scared]

Yes i just try and be the best man i can

[Scared]

I just saw psychiatrist again this morning.   Last week he was ready to hospitalise me but I didnt want to go.  So last few days I been concentrating on how I feel so I could talk to him about any improvements.  I been feeling slightly better and doctor said i now dont need hospital and he discharged me.   I dont trust that I will keep improving and not have a relapse and I told him that.  Now only 2 hours of discharge Im depressed again and I knew not to trust any improvement.  Ive gone from not needing hospital to welcome it in a space of 2 hours.  He furnished me with a brochure but they dont treat psycho therapy like he said they do.   Again im covinced doctors just want you off their books and passed down the line until it gets too hard and I end up in hospital again.  This is the cycle of mental health in real time.  Just because Im having a brighter day doesnt mean im on my way to recovery.