The game of love

[Scared]

I dont want to offer anybody advice on dating rather than my own thoughts and beliefs to a question put to me on why should this particular person make some changes to appearance and attitude for the relationships they want.

When I offered some advice I was answered back by " why should I make any changes and why cant someone take me as I am "

This is a valid point and I agree fully.

If this was about wrong or right then I agree wholeheartedly.

But unfortuneatly the laws of attraction are not based on wrong or right but based upon whats working or not working for you. 
You can go on all day about your good enough so why is this person still not been able to find someone to share their life with.

I mean he has already told me he is good enough has the confidence to not need to change anything so then if he is so right then why cant he find some one.  Why 

I have a analogy to share about wrong or right and it maybe too cryptic but I do my best as I never had problems attracting the opp sex.

It goes like this

I loved fishing when I was growing up.  At a certain time of year after rain these big fish would come out briefly at daybreak for 20 mins only.

The problem with these fish they would only eat a certain fillet of fish and it had to be fresh.

So i had to go to the pier the night before to catch these small fish and keep the fillets fresh in fridge.

I tried all the other convenient frozen baits but no it had to be freshly caught fish if you had a chance to catch these monsters.  The law of attraction for these fish was effort.

I could argue all day with these fish how my frozen prawn is good enough and how much easier it would be for me to be reasonable but no they wernt buying that cop out.

I could argue they are wrong not taking bait and how right i am giving them good enough fish bait.

So I learnt its not about wrong or right its about " what works"

So to my friend I said you can hold on to being right not to make changes or you can start doing what works.

Just had to write that for some reason.  I learnt to change  if I wanted success and took responsibility for the things I wanted to attract and that meant in this case the long walk to the pier the night before.  The fished showed me their law and followed it

[Scared]

I learnt to say mom when referring to my thai mother inlaw   They spell it mom

 Now its habit

[randomxx]

Ah right .

Are you going back or ? You must miss it a lot.

[Scared]

I go back to visit

I belong there as its where my heart is

But Thailand is not so cheap now

Cheaper than here certainly but most expats notice the increasing cost of living there.

[randomxx]

Yeah right , getting expensive there to eh.

l'd be leaving this country now myself if it was 15yrs ago with the way it's heading buttttt, l may not like a lot of things going on but l also keep myself well distanced from it all anyway and my heart is with the Australian earth itself so that l just wouldn't want to leave now. So l'd be in Thai if my heart was there myself, couldn't be any more expensive than here surely.

There are still some good lifestyles here too though too nonetheless that you can create, some of the people and their setups l've come across, couldn't want for more tbh, simplicity at it's nicest . l'm not a part of or take much notice of all the main bs l refuse it all and even where l am as is pretty cool anyway really but l'm moving soon and want to minimize right down again from here and there are admittedly still plenty of ways to do that and still live cheaply and nicely. l even am now really and have been for a long time but l have still been planning to move from here awhile now with other ideas from here.

[Scared]

Living in Thai has things you need to aware of.

If you become an invalid thru stroke or any other medical event how will you pay hospital or who will take care you.

Younger people in good health dont think about these things.

I have pre existing conditions and could not find health insurance.

If I knew a stroke or heart attack would kill me outright then thats another matter.

I would become a burden on thai family and i would hate that

[randomxx]

Ah right , there ya go this is another thing l've learnt over the yrs. Nothings perfect as dad use to say, pros and cons all over the place and for most countries too, turns out he was right again- as usual ha ha. Sort of another reason l'd stay right here myself anyway.

One of my fav was Italy and l had the opportunity to move there yrs back but with some reading up found out they have all kinds of problems too.

Not going anywhere now.

[Scared]

I dont know about you but if I found a healthy mentally stable place in life i would stay put.  Meaning I dont take mental health for granted and i would never tempt relapse for anything.

[randomxx]

Yeah for sure , couldn't agree more.

[randomxx]

Mind you , in talking alternatives here , that's ok for me and others who can manage it mind you l'll be cutting big corners even now but it's absolutely heartbreaking for our young here now. Anyone trying to get started even if it's later in life for them and families and such.

l worry day in and out for my daughter she's been looking for a place all yr, families that can't even rent, anyone wanting to buy in a few yrs time starting out, it's just all wrong , just wrong. And they've just made it even worse.

l have a small investment for my d that could be huge by the time she's ready, so hoping that will help. Meantime though all she wants is to move out and start her life right now , the simplest of wants. But the whole housing situation is just madness and stack that onto costs of living.

[Scared]

For me being 61 yo I understand I am not here forever.  This has made me feel that time is important especially when fighting with my girl who is only 38 yo.  I tell her Im not here forever and I will die one day. And that time is precious .   But she being younger is only in the middle of her life as Im closer to the end.

I dont know how to get thru to her that I dont want to die in the middle of a fight.  I love her and care so much and worry what will become of her when I die.  Is there something Im missing here in communication.  Im trying to save her from regret when I die because I dont want her to hurt.  I tell her I love her daily and unblocked her number as the fighting has been wearing my fragile state down. When fighting I say things I dont mean and I always take my words back with sorry I said that.

I feel like I have become a father role with her so Im sure many parents have the same realisations too about their children and pondered the same feelings.  Im trying to be remembered as something positive in her life that she can take thru her life.