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Surviving Separation From Narcissistic Spouse

Community Member

Hi, I am new here and this is my first forum experience. It's been just over a year since my spouse discarded me after more than 16 years of marriage. I have been hoovered twice within this period and am slowly getting stronger. It's just so hard when this has been my life for more than 18 years. When you become conditioned to the emotional, mental and psychological abuse over a long period of time, you are like a dog waiting for a bone to be thrown to you and I am co-dependent. Can anyone relate?

2 Replies 2

Community Member

Hi Noir,

I can relate a little as I had a relationship like this many years ago. It only lasted 2 years but was very damaging. I felt like when he said sorry I was the one who was forgiven even though I hadn't done anything to excuse what was happening. Even after I was strong enough to leave I would wait for the phone calls even though they were destructive to me. All I can say is that every day you get a bit stronger, its not something you forget but you learn to live with what happened and you can move on - you will get there, even if the road is longer than what you thought it might be.

Thinking of you, please check out the other posts on the forum, I find that sometimes when I'm on here it just helps reading other peoples stories and realising you are not alone.

Community Member
Hi Noir, I’ve been separated from my ex Narcissist’ for 9 years and there are still many occasions that I’m given a hard time. I have a new partner who I’m so so happy with but I was told today by ex that the children (15 and 17) who we ‘share’ have reported to her (same sex person here) that they have heard my partner and I having sex and it makes them uncomfortable....of course that has to be reported back to me along with ‘advice’.....this actually made me laugh because it shows the depths ofher appalling behaviour