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Struggling with confined space and my family during covid19

Miss920
Community Member

Hi all

I’m just writing because I’m going through a hard time with my mental health during these isolating times. I am a mum to two young children, one 2 yrs and the other in prep whom I’m homeschooling. I already experience anxiety and depression for many years now but this period of restrictions coupled with no help, family support and living in a tiny home is pushing me to the edge.

I love my children and have a good husband, but I am feeling so lonely, under appreciated and overworked with no help. I also come from an education background, so I thought I’d be doing great at homeschooling my daughter in prep, but she doesn’t seem to be engaging with my ideas and activities, I feel no matter what fun ideas I come up with she isn’t engaged and doesn’t enjoy what we’re doing. This makes my self worth and self esteem even lower than it is and leaves me frustrated and angry.

Mum super tired mentally and physically and I struggle to get up and going for the day. Was wondering if anyone is going through a similar circumstance? I feel like there is almost no use trying and that my family would not know none the wiser if I was here or not!

Any advice and feedback would be appreciated! Many thanks!

3 Replies 3

Sophie_M
Moderator
Moderator
Hey Miss920,
Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums, we are so glad you have reached out for support tonight. 
We're so sorry to hear how stressful things have been at home. We can imagine it would be very overwhelming to care for your children without adequate support and then also have to begin home school learning. It sounds like you're trying your absolute best to support yourself and your children and we sympathise with how over worked this has left you feeling. 

If you feel it might be useful, we'd encourage you to visit our Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service. The website will be regularly updated with information, advice and strategies to help you manage your wellbeing and mental health during this time. 

We’d ask if you can check back in whenever you feel comfortable. We look forward to hearing from you.

smallwolf
Community Champion
Community Champion

hi Miss920,

I have also been "suffering" (for lack of a better word) at these times. I used to work from home and for too long. It got to me in the end. So our stories are different but I get what you are saying. Having two young children is hard if you have little support, so these isolating time would probably make it more difficult.

Can I ask if you know many of the other parents from the school of your eldest child? Different setting ... I am a parish administrator and we have coffee morning over zoom to maintain some sort of contact with other people. Maybe something might be possible for parents there?

What would your child think is a fun activity?

(By the way, my daughter is in year 12 and would have done about 4 hours of school today from home. I wonder whether it might also be related to home as school holidays, etc.)

My mum was also a teacher and now volunteers at a local school - for maths I know they play games. On the other side, not only do you have to me mum, but also teacher which has different responsibilities that likely conflicts with being a mum.

perhaps you could have a chat with your husband and child (as possible) about the situation and how it is impacting on you.

Know that you are doing your best in very trying circumstances. Your children love you. In writing here I can see you are also courageous and strong on writing about these issues. I would like to hear more of your story, and you might find a way through this time.

Peace and comforting thoughts to you,

Tim

Adzphraa
Community Member

I hear you Miss920! I'm at home with my 3 and 6yr old - home schooling, with a good husband, and hoping neither of us lose our jobs.

1. Don't be hard on yourself. We are being asked to do the impossible - we are being parents, teachers and employees - and no longer able to outsource any of it! I have said to my son a thousand times "would you do that at school" "would you talk to your teacher like that" "do you tell your teacher you won't do your work" - he always says "no". As mums we have a different relationship with our kids, we can't be their teacher. We can just nurture them to be the best version of themselves right now. If they do no school work at all this term it honestly won't matter in the long term. Just love them and be with them.

2. Think about the things you can control, even if they seem small. You can't control your kids 🙂 But you can tell your husband you appreciate him, you can cook a meal (or order home delivery) that you will enjoy, you can snuggle with your kids and read a book or watch some TV, you can try getting to bed 30min earlier, or go outside for some fresh air.

3. Phone Beyond Blue. It worries me that you say your family wouldn't miss you. You need to believe that they need you. Everyone needs their mum - even me, and I'm 40 🙂

You're doing the best you possibly can, and that is everything your family needs.