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Lost without her

Community Member

Hi , first time poster but here goes.

My wife left me a few weeks ago and i am lost and depressed without her. Over 25 years of marriage we have split up 4 times but always get back together until i screw it up again. Each time has been for different reasons but i'm pretty sure , this time is it. I thought we were going OK and i didn't see it coming. She told me that she felt unloved , not appreciated and was sick of the way i spoke to her. I didn't realise any of this but apparently i speak to everyone the same. My biggest problem is , i say how i see it. I do love her with all my heart and i think over the years i just lost track of showing her and just got comfortable. I need to change myself and show her i can change , not to get back with her (even though i do want to) but so we can still be friends.

2 Replies 2

Community Member

Hi MickD's.

I feel for you as I am going through a very similar situation. I don't want to infect you with too much advise, please do not think it was your fault. Love is strong, we are stronger than we think we are, we are beautiful creatures. You need to think only of you right now and moving forward. Things will change only when we grow and make ourselves the best person we can be for ourselves and after that, things might be better for your relationship. Please try to speak with a councilor (BB) and talk about how you feel. Also you 'say it how you see it' - that's either something you can work on improving - it's not a bad reflection on who you are as a person, i.e. behavior not personality. You already know what you need to do - change yourself - make yourself the most absolute best person you can be - love yourself and everything about you - not for just for her but for [you].

We sometimes get lost and things become the 'norm' but the best thing to remember is that we can adapt and blossom into amazingly wonderful creatures. You sound like you are a man with a lot of L O V E to give and share - that is a skill in itself. Please look after yourself and let us know how you are tracking.

All the best buddy 🙂

Community Member

Hey Mick D

I feel for u mate. I separated 18 months ago. About to finalise what we need to.

My ex said many hurtful things during this time. Some true, many not. I believe most were for gain, rather than closure. It made me feel like shit.

My point is this. Change what you feel you need to to become a better person. I’ve certainly enjoyed growing during this time, as hard as it’s been.