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Struggling to decide

Community Member


I’ve recently moved it of house with my partner of 7 years before we were both living with my parents as we were saving to build. Ok so I have a very close relationship with my mum and I’ve moved 40mins away from her now. I find I’m missing her and the late night conversations we had on the lounge and just the little things we used to do together.

My Partner suffers from Anxiety and Homebase it a massive trigger for him, so we didn’t have a good first few months in our house. Now he’s talking about wanting us to move back to where he’s originally from which is 2 hrs away.

I start to feel really bad and upset because I don’t want to move further away from my mum because I don’t think I will be able to handle it but than I want to be supportive of him.

Am I just being selfish? And should I suck it up and go or is this something someone else has been through and can have a chat to me about it.

I guess I’m scared that I’ll miss out on so much stuff at home and that I won’t have the same relationship with my mum.

2 Replies 2

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi KittyMouse

Welcome to the forums and good on you for having the courage to post too!

I am sorry that your partner feels this way. Its important for a partner to respect what you want in a relationship and especially where you mum is concerned. For you to have posted with us on the forums you care a lot about you mum and probably already know the answer

Its only my humble opinion Kitty if you have any doubts dont move any further out until you are really happy to do so. Can I ask why your partner wishes to move so far away from your family?

From what you have posted above I dont think you are selfish at all Kitty. Even in a loving relationship your thoughts and wishes are just as important/valid as your partner's.

I used to have chronic anxiety in my 20's and still wouldnt move address unless my partner was happy doing so. Can I ask if your partner has been seeing his GP or a counselor for his anxiety?

There are many gentle people on the forums that can be here for you Kitty. The forums are a Safe and judgement free place for you to post

My kind thoughts


Hi Paul,
Thank you for replying to my post 🙂
He wants to move closer to his family and friend group, but where we are now is the closest to being in the middle we can get that’s why we moved here to start with. I understand that he wants to be close to his friends but I feel that I don’t fit in there and then it’s me moving further away from my friends/ family. It’s super hard because I don’t want to upset him but I’m at the point where if I’m getting upset about it it’s not good for my mental health either.

My partner is on medication for his anxiety and sees he’s GP often so it’s usually really good but he drives 45mins to work everyday and on top of a 12/13hr shift it’s hard. Which is close to my parents as he got the job when we were living there so if we were to move it would make sense to move closer to there but that’s not what he wants. He wants to quit move to his hometown and get a new job there

Thanks again,