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Husband No Longer Loves Me

Community Member

I am 29 years old and my husband and I had been together eight years, married for two. We moved from Australia to Canada and then to England for his career. Last year he told me his feelings have changed and he doesn't feel romantic love for me any more. It's been absolutely the worst time of my life. I was in Australia on a visit to see my family when he told me this, I don't think he could tell me face to face. So I went back to England to have the real discussion. A few weeks later I packed what I could of my things and have moved back to Australia and am now living with my mother.

I feel like I have been very stupid. I gave up a lot of my life to follow him around and support his career. I did not finish university and have worked in jobs I did not enjoy. Now I am 29 and living with my mother, waiting for divorce! I have no job and am very directionless. When I first arrived back I did get a job but I couldn't work there long. It was doing the same thing I had in England, I didn't like it and with everything else it was too much. I have had depression and anxiety issues since childhood and with this happening I have been struggling. I have been seeing a psychologist for the last six months and maybe it has helped a little to have someone objective to speak with but I still feel very very down every day.

I started a university course at the beginning of the year but, again, I didn't feel able to cope. I withdrew from that. I had hoped it would be some kind of answer to everything and would make me feel better. I just felt worse and worse, surrounded by young people. I know I let it get to me. I would like to study again to give myself some kind of positive future.. Working in the industry I had been (optical retail) is not what I want to do. It drove me crazy.

I still talk to my future ex husband almost every day. He is the one actually keeping in contact. I do think he wants to maintain a friendship. It's not what he wanted to happen in his life either.. Talking with him is hard but not talking would be harder?

I don't know what steps to take next. I am very alone and have no friends in this area, as my mother moved while I was overseas. I have visited some which was good but I need something where I am now (Perth). I'm not sure what I am doing! My thoughts are very jumbled and my emotions are erratic too.

1 Reply 1

Community Member

Hi Acatlady,

I can really see where you are coming from. My partner of two years has anxiety, but really bad in the last week, plus I took my first job working away. She told me that it had nothing to do with our relationship regarding to this bout of anxiety. Over the past two years she has not wanting to be with me, but I have stuck by her and supported her through these period, these periods happen every six months, so hence my mindfulness about the relationship. I mentioned to her yesterday that I will not run away from our relationship and be by her side through thick and then, but she doesn't want this due to this illness.

I to suffer from depression, but have gone through CBT which helped me though the tough times and throwing away bad thoughts so I believe this process works and made me a better person. I feel your emotions as I am going through them, but I am telling myself its the illness, its not truly her, as she has a heart bigger than Pharlap and do anything for anyone with a beautiful soul.

I am from Perth too, and there are many support groups out there that can help, all you have to do is take that step of faith in yourself and step forward to be the person you want to be and to succeed in your life. You have the whole world in front of your, every day gets better, so please get the assistance you need.

Take Care