Relationship break up , 5 yrs , 59 , feels hopeless.

[randomxx]

Hi to anyone that might drop in , it's rx here l just had to rejoin.

A few might remember my ongoing thread about gf and her situation, us and the rest. Sadly though, we've broken up after all that.

l'm 59 now, just feels hopeless. lt's not that l don't get interest it's just the thought of starting over sometime later on down the track now, again, meeting that right person, it's about that person, not any interest or 2 dozen others, it's that one that feels so hopeless and if even ever at all will probably be yrs away from now, and l'll feel like it even less.

Ya just can't help thinking about it even though it's of course not the time right now for sure, know that.

As in my other thread, we were up and down , she had huge problems when we met, visas' and court cases and mh and health, she was all over the place. That's why l held back with her and us, 5 yrs but l still supported her with all l had right through it all though. All that had finally finished 3yrs in but she was still all over the place, l felt l could never trust it or her true self.

Together she was loving and supportive and affectionate and just a real partner tbh . But we were still long distance again due to her situation and so whenever she was home again or l wasn't up at hers, she'd just change again.

She'd be all negative and her health would go to shit again, talking bad stuff about us, saying she was too sick now to have a relationship, must've went through all that 20 times with her in 5yrs.

Truth was together, she was not only just beautiful mostly , but also fitter than any girl her age l ever knew soon as she was back up home alone though it'd all just start again.

There's no talking or reasoning, even though she use to preach positivity herself, the negativity just pours out all over again, even if we'd just had a beautiful 3 or 4wks together.

Dealing with that 5yrs plus all her earlier dramas , l just couldn't trust anything to do with us, but l hoped in time or once we were together full time, that'd all just go as it was when we were together. But then l'd think how would l know that was real just bc we were together properly at last, if she was going home again she'd just blurt out all the same old stuff.

Anyway, it started again after our last visit, her health her stress , she can't be in a relationship, l've had enough.

ldk, l was divorced 10yrs ago, laid low 5yrs, but she was the only one l'd met that just fitted, but then there was the rest of it. l could see a life with her though if it all sorted out and so l persisted.

l knew it was a gamble though, damn it.

rx

[CMF]

Your d sounds like mine. Asks if I've heard from M & says if I do do not respond. She asked today how people my age meet someone haha. She asked if I'm on dating apps  am I just done or if someone sparked my I interest would I go on a date. Told her no apps, I'm done but I would go out for a coffee...

I'm sure there is something good out there for us rx. It will find us when time is right.

I didn't know you were moving. A fresh start sounds really good.

Hugs, hugs & more hugs.

[randomxx]

Yeah mine asks that stuff too. l'll say ahhh, not worried about any of that stuff atm, she knows l've had 12mths practice getting use to this now and reckons l if l was to meet someone new go for it.

Buttt, l say that but truth is l am a bit worried about the future love wise tbh. Truth is l don't really want to spend the rest alone but l feel as though l've been so blessed with two amazing women and times through life l might of used up my chances . The other thing is how could l trust anything now and so how could l even commit to it or start over bc neither of those now well, so how am l suppose to take anything else seriously, ldk. ldk, l'm trying not to think about it or bother worrying about it

Then again, l've seen so many stories of people finding live of their life some much older, 70s one even 80s, remarrying, heard some incredible stories tbh so ldk. Dk how to think or feel about any of it really , gfx was going to be the last and if it didn't work out then to hell with women was my idea.

Date sites yeah , l've wondered too. My brother 50s was on them a lone time eventually met someone 2yrs back and just married her. First time we've seen him in something like this let alone married.

[randomxx]

Do you think you'd join a date site when the time does come ? Any thoughts on them ?

[CMF]

No. Not for me 😊

You?

[randomxx]

God knows atm.

Helping my brother few yrs back did get me thinking if l was ever out there again, especially of late bc he just married someone he met on one.

But really, who knows.

[TheFarSide]

These days give it a crack with online dating - sure some of the sites are geared towards particular outcomes but just use some internal spidey senses and your own comfort levels about whom and where to meet. 

Trial stuff out with ones that offer free membership - there's enough costs out there without adding this to it.

Online dating is just Like any opportunity or avenue to meet people - there's gonna be plenty of people that don't float your boat for whatever reason but there will be plenty that do tick most or all of the boxes you think fit you and are then worth taking beyond casual dating/dinner at a pub/walk in the park etc etc.

My 2cents on top of that is that at this age - 55 plus - people are going to have life's baggage, families, other lives, personal issues and maybe even a secret or too etc etc - just need to be prepared for what may entail.  That said - no matter where you meet people the same will be true...  Just tread with eyes open and due caution.

Let's face it if your experience turns out to be rubbish then leave that site - particularly if its free - nothing ventured nothing gained...

[CMF]

Hi friends,

You raise a good point TheFarSide that at out age their is baggage, other families etc. I reckon it would be nice to have companionship without big plans to live together etc. 

[randomxx]

Speaking from experience fs or ?

Personally , l've never even so called dated women in my life really never had to myself. l know what l like and l'm very selective. So there's just never been point in even bothering with anyone else.

But it's weird l'm in some relationship/dating forum, bloody hate that word so American but it's all they do. Some of them have dated 100s of people, 100s. Some of them at it 20 -30yrs and burnt out, so common, sickening really.

l always say to them wth, you use your picker you wait and be selective you don't just shoot fish in a barrel blindly it just flabbergasts me really.So many don't even seem to know what they even like or even a clue what they're even looking for. 

ldk how that's even possible.

Hey cm, and yeah well , that's what l tried many times earlier in to explain to gfx and then there was her situation.

lf there was no pressure and we could've just cruised as a couple for a few yrs first , l would've been good to go.

[CMF]

I've never done the dating thing either. I prefer to meet someone, maybe grab a coffee if there's interest/attraction & go from there. 

Yeah at our age exvlusive companionship is enough. Meet families, yes, but no need to be living together & in each other's pockets full time, unless you really want to.

Rx, what does fs mean in your post?

[randomxx]

You either nah, there's just no point is there. lt was always the same for me too just something along those lines was enough.

The living thing well, for me, tbh, l'd like that and l enjoyed it most with gfx, l wanted that eventually l just didn't wanna be rushed into it though. You know, things become so much more entwined once your doing that so l just needed time to be 100% about us and it , both of us.

l don't know if it was my stalling that caused this now, but on the other hand , well here we are so maybe it's lucky l did.

fs is just to farside .