Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Announcement Icon
You can win one of three $200 gift cards. Complete our survey by 5pm, 30 June 2024 AEST to enter the draw. Your response will be anonymous so you can't be identified.

Really tough break up

Community Member

Hi all,

As I write this I’m sitting alone in my apartment on a beautiful sunny evening. I was meant to be spending this weekend with the love of my life but he broke up with me on Friday night.

Sone background: we’ve been together for almost four years and we’re due to be married in October. I thought we were really happy but a few months out from the wedding he started having anxiety attacks and crying and having doubts. When he saw a counsellor he came home and broke up with me telling me he couldn’t do it anymore and realised he hadn’t been happy. He moved out. We ended up deciding to take a long break because we loved each other and wanted it to work.

About a month later he asked me to go out to dinner and told me he loved me and had been feeling better through counselling, that I wasn’t the cause of his anxiety. So we started seeing each other again, which made me really happy. Slow at first, then up to 5 times a week, sleepovers, spending whole weekends together etc.

things seemed back on track. He was telling me he loved me and wanted to get married, that he was happy. Then on Friday out of the blue, after a counselling session, he came over and broke up with me again saying he loves me but he’s messed up, doesn’t know who he is anymore and is dwelling on minor things in the past.

i feel so despairing. He won’t respond to any of my messages or calls. I’m feeling really depressed and lonely and don’t know what to do to make myself feel better.

2 Replies 2

Community Member

Sometimes when you goto your psychologist you can be triggered by things.

I've often felt alot worse and hopeless after coming out of session.

Maybe give him some time to process what's happened in the session and wait till he comes to you

Take care

Community Champion
Community Champion

Welcome Belle,

Welcome to the forum, This is a caring, friendly and supportive place.

i can understand how sad and upset and confused you just when you thought your partner was ready to be in the relationship again.

I agree with the borderline that counselling can trigger some memories and mentions and be unsettling at times.

if you partner feels messed up and confused by his counseling he maybe need time to work out himself first. going I to a relationship when you have lots of personal problems is not a good start. You partner maybe needs time and space so he can address his issues and be able to be in a relationship and be a responsible partner.

I know this is hard on you and you will be feeling so alone now and let down. would it help if you could spend time with a friend.

i know you want answers but sometimes you need to just take time and trust that your partner will able to deal with his issues.

Thanks for sharing your story. you are not Lao e as others reading this will be able to relate to,you.