Hi Miss Anxiuous
I feel your concern and desire to reconnect with your partner. Discussing anything on a deep and personal level, particularly our addictions, it a very intimate encounter for some people (and I don't mean sex). Have you been able to ascertain why type or aspect of porn that he is addicted to? Answering this question can help in which strategies you may need to use to influence a change in his behavior.
Aspects such as:
- Is it the nudity or desire to see other people naked?
- Is it the fantasy or desire to have spontaneous sex?
- Is it the voyeurism (desire to watch others have sex)?
If it were the nudity, perhaps this could be overcome by taking him to Life Drawing classes. There he could learn to deal with his stress through arts; whilst satisfying an internal desire to see naked people. OR it could be that he has a secret desire to be nude around strangers; in that case maybe a trip to the local nude beach would help.
If it's the fantasy, I'm sure you could dream up some spontaneous activities and scenarios for him. Or if you need his input, why not put a porno on the TV (with the volume on mute) so you can talk to him about what he'd like to do.
If its the voyeurism, well that one is a bit out of my league. Or it could be something altogether different. Some people say that when we dream of being naked, we harbor fears of people finding out out secrets. And when we dream of other people being naked that we have a desire to unveil their secrets.
If he has a Twitter account, follow him, and then you can see what he re-posts and likes. Twitter is the number one source of online porn.
The thing is, without knowing what he is addicted too, it is really hard to offer any meaningful advice that could lead to understanding why porn.
Best wishes, and I hope you find answers soon.
SB
