Please help me leave my marriage

[Guest_55359737]

1. How do I leave? What is the process and what happens to the children? Especially when one parent is threatening to take them off the other. How can I make this split amicably?
2. I am enduring abuse, emotionally and mentally. I need a therapist. But I am not sure what kind. I feel like I will just cry at them the entire time.
3. What financial aid is available to single parents in NSW ? I earn an ok wage, but things are so expensive atm I feel financially stuck here.
4. My husband is an angry person at the best of times. He blames me for everything, he berates me like a child. He claims he is a 'traditionalist' this just means that I, as the woman cleans and does everything. As well as work my 40+ hours a week job. I have many reasons I want to leave that i believe would be legit reasons anyone would leave. But I am worried that he will paint me as crazy. That is how he makes me feel. I am in desperate need for help. How did you do it?

[Emotions26]

Hello,

You most definitely do have legitimate reasons for wanting to leave a husband and father of your children from what you have written about your situation.

He needs to look up the actual meaning of "traditionalist" ! 

I will not go into further detail in regard to "him".

He might try to "paint you as crazy" another way to cover up.

You will gain more from speaking to people who are trained in this field and can give you vitally important, factual information.

I have copied the following information for NSW, for you as a starting point. Please do not be frightened by the term domestic violence. That is one area that is also covered by this government department.

Women's Information and Referral Service (WIRS)

The Womens Information and Referral Service (WIRS) is a first-stop, confidential telephone contact point for women seeking up-to-date and accurate referral information about organisations and services for women in NSW and border towns on a range of issues, including: violence against women and children; legal questions such as divorce, separation and custody; child care; housing; health; work; education and training.

PH    1800 817 227

I am unsure of hours that line is available.

Do not make the phone call when your husband is at home.  

If you have a friend or family member whom you trust, you could make the call with them present if you feel comfortable in doing so.

It is a traumatic experience that you are dealing with and you might need support after your call.

If you do not have this support, you can make sure that you are in a safe space and also that your children cannot hear to avoid upsetting them further.

I am not trying to frighten you.  I have been through  domestic abuse relationships where I needed to leave. 

I used the helpline in my state for clarity and support.  It was the best thing that I could do for myself.

It is hard to think clearly, when frightened and the safety of yourself and your children is paramount.

You are more than welcome to continue writing on the forums as well.

Please do not write about any of your personal information.

Please also do not use a phone or computer that your husband and or children have access to.

You will get through this.  You are courageous reaching out for help here.

You can also ring beyond blue for counselling and urgent ph numbers.

At the top of the page you will see "urgent help" on a phone and immediate support on a desktop.

I hope this helps you feel that someone is hearing your call for help and you have every right to reach out for help for yourself and your children in this situation.

Take care

Ems