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People like seeing others hurt *Trigger warning - violence*

Community Member
Don’t really know what to say. I’ve had a lot of issues in the past 10 years and my current partner has always put me down about things and bringing up my step dad which I found dead when I was 15. She will use every bit of ammunition she has against me and use it. I currently have no job due to the coronavirus so I can’t just pack my bags and go like I have been wanting to do. I have spent many nights sleeping in the back of my Ute just to get away but can only do that so many times. I’m starting to black out and tend to start getting more and more violent but also at the same time starting to feel numb and not feel anything apart from anger. Why can I do? She seems to think it’s all a joke and she admits to doing it on purpose to hurt me. I’ve got no one I can stay with and no money to get me somewhere else
5 Replies 5

Community Member

You know you have to get away from her , l mean l know you know that, but you do have to break up with her as soon as possible. You'll never fix her or stop her now or get some respect back into her. l'd start finding a way to get out. Work and Covid things could go on who knows how long but l'd start looking for a place to stay right now , somewhere, that you can work with what you have right now. lf you on even Centerlink then that should be doable , possibly even if not. Rallies or something but no ifs or buts you need to get out of this as soon as possible. And when you do be prepared bc she'll probably turn to tears and start trying to get you back , but don't fall for it.

l went through something like that only a few yrs and it was long distance half the time but even at that , it was amazing how it ate away at me, it's pretty incredible that you've lasted this long.

Very best of luck. rx

It’s just hard with no money and no job. I was hoping just to hold on until I’ve got some money and then find a place but these last 2 weeks have been really difficult. She’s used everything from my low self esteem to me not having any family around to help and all my past issues I’ve gone through. I’ve had to replace 3 doors so far and because this is the first time I’ve thought about getting help, I still don’t know the steps to seeing a psychologist. What do I talk about or where do I start?

I have to find some money somewhere and get myself out somewhere.
Thank you for sparing your time writing to me though

Nah no problem , l can just see where your at and know first hand it's obviously at a very serious point for you. Centerlink do a 500 advance thing , could you get that.? And you can also get a bond from them too l think but l know you can also get a bond and some rent too actually l think , from the Salvos bc someone l know used it.

You don't have the strength right now to brush off her crap and bide your time , so better to put that energy into brainstorming on a way out . Has the ute got a canopy ? Just thinking temporally maybe even camp at a caravan park.

Hi Nathan,

Welcome to the forums. We're sorry to hear that your relationship has been so difficult. We can understand that this must be a high-stress situation. It's important to seek help before you reach breaking point.

Violence is never okay. If you feel unable to stop yourself from being violent towards others, or you are in immediate danger of someone else being violent towards you, this is an emergency and 000 (triple zero) should be contacted.

Something you can do when you're feeling overwhelmed and need to talk it out, is call MensLine. MensLine Australia is a free 24/7 telephone and online counselling service for men with emotional health and relationship concerns. You can contact them on 1300 78 99 78 or https://mensline.org.au/

If you have been striggling due to the pandemic, you can also call our dedicated Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service support line, staffed by mental health professionals, which is available 24/7 at the Beyond Blue Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service on 1800 512 348.

Thanks for reaching out here tonight - we hope that the forums are of some comfort to you during this turbulant time.

Hi Nathan

Randomx has come up with a few practical solution you can try; Sophie_M has given you a few quick options for your immediate mental health.

In the meantime, you need to get your anger under control. Anger will only cloud your judgment and make a difficult situation impossible. When you can, go an see a bulk billing GP and ask for a "Mental Health Care Plan". The plan will give you access to a Medicare funded phycologist that can help you with your anger issues, and any other issues you wish to discuss.

If you can, stay where you are, and divert your energy to devising an escape plan. Randomx has listed a few places you could try for financial help.

If you can't stay where you are, there may be a men's shelter in your area. A google search should locate a close shelter.