Frustrated and helpless

[AquaSun]

Hi everyone,
I know the value of these forums and as a health practitioner with alot of mental health experience I have referred people to this site. Ironically I have felt helpless to manage my own family situation. I have a great marriage with a very caring husband but have an adult child with mental health problems who has no insight and refuses to take any medication anymore or seek intervention which makes our life very difficult at times. I'm wondering which forum is the best to post on. I don't want to give away too much as I know our child does occasionally look at this site and they would be very angry thinking I have disclosed anything. Our child lives away but comes home during breaks in study. Covid of course has been disastrous for their year and has seen them at home more this year with reluctance to go anywhere.
We both feel as though we are suffering parental abuse and being judged constantly for our lifestyle choices , what we eat , what we wear, what we watch on television and who our friends are. At times we feel sorry for them as they have isolated themselves.
Any input would be appreciated. Thank you.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

There's a saying about mental illness- "if you have insight, you're one of the lucky ones".

You ate in a very difficult situation that I personally cannot imagine what I'd do, except some hard love for the purpose of him taking medication. No meds, no luxuries/assistance etc. I'm a parent and I'm not sure I could do that.

I hope others have ideas as your post will go back to the top of the list.

Good luck
TonyWK

[Guest909]

Welcome AquaSun

There is a wealth of information available on this BB site.

Here are a couple of BB links that may be helpful

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/national-help-lines-and-websites

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support

The above may help you find the right forum or avenue for help. That being said, I don't think there will be too much new for you.

Just adding to what Tony(WK) said above, "insight" does not always translate to a better outcome, and I don't think Tony was suggesting that for a moment.

By way of an explanation, my ex-wife was the product of an abusive childhood. When we married, she was adamant that she would not make the same mistakes her mother did. In fact, she detested her mother that much, she broke all contact with her soon after we married. After years of therapy, on and off, I though my ex had made peace with her past. Sadly, that was not the case. My ex ultimately became the person she detested most; her mother. To me, she was a carbon copy. In spirt of my ex's vast insight into mental illness, she could not control who she was and what she became.

I hope you manage to find the help and answers you are looking for.

Cheers

Paul

[AquaSun]

Thank you,
I feel I have been ambiguous regarding my scenario. Like I said I'm paranoid of her and it is her finding me writing for advice like it's a betrayal of trust . There are other things of course. A history of bullying at school for being "different". A loss of who she thought were friends that took advantage of her or dumped her. Years of meds and psychiatrists. It is the labile moods that are hard to cope with. Outbursts of anger or sheer distress and crying over trivial things like plans being changed or certain friends being invited over. As a parent you swing between resentment and also extreme sadness for your child. It's a rollercoaster of emotion. I guess without a person wanting to engage intervention and saying counselling sessions are crap and meds are "controlling my emotions". There aren't many options. I suppose I came to this forum just for support and any ideas but I do realise there isn't a magic wand. I appreciate anyone taking the time to read my and my partner's story. Thank you again .

[AquaSun]

Thank you for the story and also for the links. I will check them out.