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Not a 'normal' relationship

Community Member

Hi everyone!

I need some advice/different points of view please.

I am currently part of a 'relationship' that I am finding very frustrating. We don't spend much physical time together because he is always working. He lives at the workshop as well. I find it hard to get any quality time together or even just do things together. We do talk a bit on the phone but that's really the extent of the relationship. There's always excuses or reasons why we can't see each other. 

I feel kept at a distance and on hold until he wants to see me. I also feel it's a toxic relationship because I become more anxious and depressed when we have contact. I feel trapped and am really struggling to get away. I have told him I am unhappy. He just says it will be all good soon. I feel like I am the support for him but my needs aren't getting met. 

My struggle is mostly on my own. 

13 Replies 13

Community Member

Of course you can do this.  You found the courage to post and look for help.  I agree with Paul though.  Hopefully you won't need anyone there as, hopefully he won't get angry. 

Best of luck for your future.

dear Gypsyangel, thanks for getting back to us.

This chap has NO place where he can get angry with you, this is just him controlling your life, telling and demanding what and how you think, and it's certainly not someone who loves you.

You don't need to be pushed around, because in the long term, it would be the best to close the door on him.

You can do this, I believe you can, and as you say 'I have been feeling stronger with less contact', as they say in the classics 'go girl'. Geoff. x

Community Member

Hi Geoff, I agree with you re: Gypsyangel's situation.  The guy doesn't have the right to lose it with her.  All I meant was, he may 'lash' out at her because there's no-one else.  In anger, people 'lash' out at the nearest available person.  In this case Gypsyangel, if he does, as Paul said, does she have support. 

Sorry if I was misunderstood with the remark.

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
dear Pipsy. Please don't worry at all. L Geoff. x