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No support from loved one

Peart
Community Member

Hi,

I have posted in this forum before about my situation and I did feel a lot better getting support from this forum. Thank you all so much.

However, I am here again because, I guess I've become hopeless. I can feel the depression is creeping back into my life, especially when it's really hard for me to find a job and juggling 2 casual jobs to make ends meet at the moment. I find a lot of things in my life upsetting and discouraging. I moved to a new city with my partner because he got a job. While he's blossoming in the new city, with new and old friends at the same time, with a good job, I'm stuck with 2 crappy jobs and housework. I feel unappreciated most of the time and I have expressed it to my partner. He does apologise but always forgets about it afterwards. I guess it's also because he has a lot on his plate. His job is, however, very demanding and stressful.

So one time, I got very frustrated about my job situation and what's happening around me. I seek for support from my partner. I have no social life, no friends except for 2 friends who are living overseas. My partner's my source of human interaction and intimacy. I do love him very much. I decided that I should reach out to him about how I felt and cried to him that I was depressed. And he told me to go get help. This happened a while ago but I just can't get over it. I know it came from a good place as he's aware that I'm clinically depressed. It still hurts because I didn't get the reaction I was hoping for. I was hoping that he could hug me and wipe my tears and say that things will be ok. It's a cliche to say but when it comes from your loved one it feels a lot more assuring and comforting, but he didn't do that. I feel strongly criticised and that makes me feel ashamed of myself. I can't bring myself to tell him how I feel or what I think anymore. When I confronted him about his reaction, he said it'd be better if I sought professional help, and that he couldn't help that much.

Am I over my head or is this a very bad reaction to my condition?

2 Replies 2

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

part, welcome to the forum.

I can feel your frustration at wanting your partner to help you. I understand that you needed your partner to help but I fel he was doing his best to help by suggesting you seek help from others.

Sometimes men feel thy need to fix thing ans feels he cat help so he will support you getting help from a professional. You wanted a hug and reassurance. Sometimes people are not sure how to help a depressed person so by suggesting you get help he felt he was being responsible.

I kno you feel let down but I think he thought he was doing the right thing.

This is just my suggestion.

Thanks for sharing your story.

Quirky

Hi Quirkywords,

Thanks for your thought and I do understand your point. I guess it's a different-people-different-opinion thing. And it's frustrating because it came from someone who is close to me and whom I have high expectation of.