Hi Steve
Your torment is real but I'm finding it hard to get a handle on the actions of your wife. She left a loving husband (de facto?) with her five children over an argument on how many hours she spends on Facebook?
The idea of your wife having a secret lover "..I thought about that through the whole relationship...." suggests something is very wrong here. I have no idea if there is someone else involved but in some ways it's irrelevant.
Steve, it seems for whatever reason, your wife has had enough of the marriage. A thirty six year old mother should know exactly what she wants and I think you have to ignore what she is saying and judge her only on her actions. At the moment, her actions are clearly signalling she does not want to be with you.
My counsel to you is follow the advice of white knight, Katy and Daphne. Look after your health. You should consider cutting all conduct with your wife, because every time she calls, you fall back into the misery trap. If she loves, she will respect your decision. Secondly, at some point you will have to seek a formal separation because after such a long de facto relationship, the law will see it as very similar to a marriage. There may be assets and property to be settled. I am of the understanding that you do not have any children from this marriage.
I understand your pain, Steve but I believe you need some certainty in your life right now and it doesn't seem like your wife is helping you to provide it.
