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New and never really talk about my feelings.

Community Member

Hi there, im new to this and needing advise. Hope im in the right section.

Recently, just broke up with the love of my life and fiancé of 5 years engaged for 4. We have a young boy together who is 4 years old. I also have another boy from my previous relationship who is 6.

I will start from the very beginning. When we first started dating i did everything any normal relationships would do cute dates, loving, caring made her feel safe all of that.

First few months were the best days of my life, then it or should i say i started to change started talking too my ex's again telling them they were beautiful ect.

So to put a long story short i cheated on her ( didnt actually sleep with them ) just kept saying how beautiful they were sending x's and o's to them but didnt say any of that stuff too the girl i was dating.

We got through it and still continued to date and eventually having a baby together. It was all good until i started working i would do as above again but to a staff member. She told me too stop talking to her and i did but then i started talking her again and again. This hurt my fiancé bad and i did that to her i put her through that and i shouldnt of we had already gone through enough with my oldest sons mother who kept trying to break us up pretty much every week.

So recently of the past two months she woild always want to get out of the house wouldnt come back until 2 or 3 in the morning or sometimes didn't come back at all after i had enough two times i decided too just drive past where she was staying. At first i was ohk yeah she is there (friend one) and didn't think anything of it. but the second time (different house friend two) i seen her car out the front but then realized that there was also another car the same car from friend ones house that i didnt really take notice of the first time. Skip a few days her and i broke up went back to the house to get my fishing rod and noticed that, that same car is at the front of were i used too live. I was shocked i thought of the worst straight away. I knocked on the door and i just went blank shaking badly to the point it scared her and i didnt even notice i did that.

She told me that nothing is going on they're just friends ect.

But im writing because i want help for me because there is alot more to this story than i can write in this little box

2 Replies 2

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Guest_6472,

Thanks for reaching out and sharing what's been going on for you. I hope that you'll be able to enjoy your time here and navigate the forums a bit so then maybe you can get some comfort from reading others who are in a similar boat as you or having troubles with their relationships too.

I guess I'm finding it hard to understand personally what your intention is to move forward - are you looking to marry your fiance and be with her? I'm not in a position to say what's okay and not okay in a relationship but texting other people with x's and o's or compliments and texting an ex is often not okay for some people as it shows distrust and that you're not really that committed. But again - this is only my perspective as I do not know what she is thinking/feeling.

Perhaps it might help to talk to her about what you're feeling/thinking/wanting. If she's coming home late because she's upset with the way the relationship is going then it's a good idea to figure that out together.

Sometimes people may find that couples counselling may help - if you want to look into this more you could try Relationships Australia.

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Hi everyone, this thread is a double posting, so we're closing it. Please continue your discussion in the original thread here.