Need to vent and be heard.

Guest_9043 · ‎09-12-2019

This is not ANY type of relationship. It's one of my housemates. She treats me like dirt. She treats everyone like dirt, even her husband. She manipulated and betrayed me to moving in here. She told me that I could recover here, was really kind and said she cared about me. It took me a while to trust her but I finally relented and moved in. As soon as I moved in she completely changed towards me. I absentmindledy left a take away coffee cup out instead of throwing it in the bin. I just forgot. She left it there for days. On Saturday she picked it up and said to me, this has been sitting there for days and I've been waiting for you to throw it away. Since you won't I'll do it. I was gobsmacked.
Yesterday she asked me to get a Pepsi for her out the Pepsi box so I did. No thank you. Then she said to me by the way I don't like people wearing shorts with their underwear showing. If that's how people were to dress we would wear our underwear on the outside. I was wearing shorts with some of my underwear showing and not on purpose.

I had a cup in my room and I got in trouble for that. I had to wash it immediately. She yelled at me to keep my voice down the other night when I was on the phone. Then at 6am she made a call right outside my room on loudspeaker and woke me up talking loudly. The washing machine drum is out so it's mine and everyone else's fault because we don't put our washing in evenly. It's broken! I'm too scared to do my washing. If I'm helping someone with something I'm doing it all wrong and she is right. She is right about everything even when she is wrong. She LOVES the I told you do game. She humiliates you in front of people. She sets people up she doesn't like. She wants to be treated with respect but doesn't have to do the same in return. Her life is worse than anyone's else's life and no one has a right to speak about their life without her comparing it to her life. There's so much more.

I pay rent and clean but she is the boss do to speak. I've not spent time in the house for 48 hours now. I'm down in the shed and am sleeping here to get away from her.

I know I have to move. I'm making steps, I just can't go right now. I just can't be around her. I know it's abuse. I can't stand up for myself but she will kick me out. I can't have that as I will have nowhere to go.

Croix · ‎11-12-2019

Dear 2quik~

Persons like her are masters of control, it is what they live for I think

As a result I can well understand how you can see her for what she is, hate her and yet go and get the smokes when she asks.

Seems paradoxical, but it is often the way it works, reinforcing that control before it becomes weak enough to be ineffective.

Your mental state, which you are worried about, is based upon the fact she is filling your life with all her obnoxious ways and you have no real alternative to get away right now.

When this toxic influence is removed from your life your mental state will improve out of sight, it is her that is keeping it down.

You already know you need to be elsewhere, the doctor merely confirmed it and gave her a label.

Coping strategies while there ? Well you have one already, what you will do when you leave to uncover here illicit activities. OK, that's one, and it involves her.

Anger is fuel, it can help sustain and give strength

Can you plan other things, completely separate? Do you have any dreams you want to fulfill?

I suspect I know what the 1800 woman was on about, if you cannot change circumstances at the moment, and they are eroding your mental welfare, what is left is to try to bolster it up with recognition of what you do well - make sense?

So what do you do well? (and don't say nothing, its not true,I knew that even when I was suicidal)

Croix

Guest_9043 · ‎13-12-2019

Hi Croix,

Just a brief response. I'm truly not able to respond to any of what you wrote. I just feel empty and numb.

Take care.

Lee

Croix · ‎13-12-2019

Dear Lee~

Maybe it is time for a brief change in posts, so far they have all been serious and focused on your circumstances. Heavy stuff and one can overload on advice, suggestions and even encouragement.

If you think the following is silly, OK maybe it is.

I'm sitting using my laptop in front of a wood fire (I live in a cold region) and to my left on the sofa beside me is Sumo Cat, who is 'busy' on his special flurry blanket. 'Busy' as you may know is cat talk for snoozing.

Occasionally one eye opens to check on me, then closes again.

Sumo cat did not always have that name, if you are interested and want a change of pace (& like animals) have a look at my account here:

Forums / Staying well / Store Your Happy Memories Here:

my post is dated 31 January and is half way down on page one of this long running thread.

Animals mean a lot to me (as you can tell) and Sumo Cat's company (and supervision:) completes the scene.

Croix