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My man is depressed and has stopped communication

Community Member
I've been seeing the most incredible man. We have plans for him to move in with my kids & I. He had depression in the past and is on medication. He got 2 serious illnesses within 3 weeks and I suspect the heavy medication to help him stopped the antidepressants being helpful with his depression. His messages and contact started to lesson. He became silent and unresponsive for 2 weeks. He had asked me to please not stress that we are ok & he loves me. I continued to gently message him every few days, letting him know I'm here, I love him, I'm going nowhere. He's been cheated on by previous partners. After 2 weeks he sent me a message saying he missed me too, he was seeking professional help, my messages had helped him and he was sorry, that he hoped to see me the next weekend. I haven't heard from him since, it's been 2 & 1/2 weeks. I don't think he will self harm, I just think he's dealing with this the best he can (by himself and seeking professional treatment - which I'm grateful he does). My question is, I don't want to harass him, but, I don't want him to feel abandoned either. I love & miss him so much and there's been no indication he wants to break up, just I guess he needs to do this alone. I've been reaching out between every 2-4 days, I mainly text, but, did call & leave a voicemail & also sent him a song. Those who shut down and throw themselves into work, how long do you think he's likely to take to start responding to me again? He lives alone & his family and friends are interstate, we are over an hour apart from each other & I don't want to just turn up on his doorstep & freak him out. I have mild anxiety and the drop in communication is hard for me as I just want to be there for him & help. If you are someone who pushes away those you love, do you appreciate messages of love & support, should I expect he will eventually find his way back to me?
11 Replies 11

Thanks for your reply Tim. I have been every so often inviting him to either come over, or me to come to him, letting him know when I have a free evening, he has been unable to respond. I am aware of self care, I'm a busy girl, I work and I have a great network of friends & often have dinner with them or catch up & as a single working Mum I run my kids around too, so I stay busy & occupied, he isn't my entire life, but, he is very much wanted & missed & loved

Thank you very much, your response has been very helpful & reassuring. I had considered letting him know what the kids & I were up to, I have been sending him messages reminding him he's loved, wanted & I'm here for him when he's ready to return. I think I will start keeping him up to date on our goings on, just so he doesn't feel guilt about not being around & assume I'm doing nothing but pine for him making it more overwhelming & worse. I don't want to overload him with messages or information, but, I'm hoping some of what I send registers to him, that he in fact has a woman now who is loyal & won't give up or mistreat him like others have in the past.