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My estranged sister called me yesterday

Community Member

I didn't know my phone rang as it was on silent so it came up a missed call.
I couldn't call her back right away as I was not able to.
When I could I sat there thinking do I call back, what do I say.
I called back but she didn't answer.
I am still so angry at her over many things, I can't seem to let go of my anger.
She has hurt me tremendously and contributed to my depression and anxiety.
I am anxious about if she calls back and I don't know how to deal with it.

3 Replies 3

Community Member

Hi Mister M,

When your sister calls back, sit somewhere calm and quiet in your home and listen carefully to what she has to say. Answering her call does not mean you are obligated to forgive her. Forgiveness is the most positive result of this situation, but it's understandable that it may be difficult and take some time.

If you want to talk through some issues with her, rather than getting angry (you might not do this, I realise), try to focus on how you feel and how what she has said or done has hurt you. This way, an unhelpful argument is far less likely to happen.

I hope that the phone call doesn't cause any problems for you, and that you can keep your anxiety at a manageable level.

Best wishes,


Community Member
Thank you.

Community Member
I was once in the same position with my sister. I was at the point of deciding to cut her out of my life. She had decided to hold me responsible for all the issues she had in her life. It was so destructive. Now, some 35 years later, she is ill and I support and provide some care for her. If I were in this situation now, with benefit of hindsight, I would be telling myself that a conversation about the estrangement would be necessary. But the time has to be right to do that. It may be best to listen to her, as, open ended questions and try and assess her agenda in contacting you. I would ensure you have support as the last thing you need is to have your confidence shattered. I wish you good luck in your future dealings with your sister.