My 14yr old daughter has gone wild

[Tinalea20]

I need advice. She goes out and tells me she will be home before dark, but comes home when ever. I get mad and remind her she is 14. She yells and tells me she missed the bus. ( all the time). I ground her. She is boy mad. I didn't bring her up like that. She comes home with love bites on her neck. I tell her they make her look cheap. She asks if a MATE can come over to hang out. She tells me he is 16 but later find out he is 19. We have a fight. She uses colourful words. Goes right off. And now refuses to go to school. That's just a little insight to what's going on in my life.

[Touille]

Hey Tinalea,

I'm sorry to hear about the way your daughter is behaving. I had 4 younger sisters who were boy mad, one left home at 13 to live with a 17, fortunately they live with his parents. My mum was powerless, the children protection agency did nothing to help. One of my sisters said it was her hormones that caused them to act that way.

I do think you should take her to the police and try and get to the bottom of her behavior, sadly teens listen more to their peers, her friends are not good company. You need to contact an expert to see what your options are.

Do you spend quality time with your daughter? Perhaps she is messed up and doesn't feel confident talking to you.

Is your daughters father around?

I hope you can sort something out.

Touille.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Tinalea20,

Thanks for posting.

I think that what Zeal had to say in the earlier post was spot on and could definitely be applied to this current situation now. It sounds like your daughter is wanting to be treated like an adult in making adult-like decisions about sex, contraception and her education. I'm wondering if maybe you could both just have a long discussion about this? This doesn't mean condoning her behaviour; but just being open to her feelings about this and being available for questions and resources. I'm not sure if you've discussed this already but it might be helpful to understand why she's making all these decisions now; there's plenty of time to have sex and be in relationships in a few years - why does she want to rush this?

If your daughter has decided not to go to school, has she thought about what she wants to do instead? Encouraging her to think long-term about her future might help her to regain some perspective on how important education is. Sometimes parents set ultimatums so that if their child is choosing not to go to school they are doing x or y instead. Perhaps it might be helpful to consider talking with the school teachers/counsellors to negotiate a plan that's right for you and your daughter.

I hope this helps. There's also some great resources on the Parentline website which includes a helpline for questions and queries. I've linked this below - https://www.parentline.com.au/parenting-information/teens.php