thanks for ur reply heretotalk, that makes sense, and I understand. all good.
i'm not trying to judge anyone but also sharing my own experience as a woman who has had married men message me in a very similar way to what is being desribed. emotionally attached correspondence, compliments, invitations to hang out privately etc etc etc
Things their wives likely didn't know about.
I never thought til years later how much damage this did to me. I thought about it from the perspective of the man and his wife and their marriage etc but i never thought how it made me feel, which is basically, not great. I didnt want to be someones other woman, and I think also a lot of it was illusion. I was single, unattached, maybe appeared more "fun" then a wife who's at home raising a child. But I didn't want to be seen as some fun, light, "out" from the challenges of marriage.
It hurt me and messed me up, and in a way, didn't respect me either. So I'm ont trying to lecture but rather trying to say what i learnt in my own life, regarding single women and married men. That it hurts many ppl, all people, involved.
Its really hard to stop obsessing, and I empathise with this. I'm obsessed with many things at many times and its also hard because ppl cant get it entirely unless they're in it. So ur point is very powerful. I hope LR that you get the help you need, but also am just pointing out that the young girl is also a person who will be affected by u pursuing her. And that it would be important to try and not do damage to her or to ur wife.
Re your wife looking through ur phone, to be honest that's normal, she's jealous and suspicious because there has been betrayal. It will be up to u to show her you are trustworthy, and i'd imagine she will stop.
