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Community Member

Im a single mum of 2 young children, (4 & 18m) we are always busy during the days and often catch up with other mums and bubs for playdates. Always at home at night as have kids full time.

Ive always been a worrier, for my own situation and for others. I've always been available to my friends when they need me. The last year or so has been tough, dealing with an awful ex, and adjusting to life as a single mum.

The other day I was struggling with anxiety. I called & msgd 2 of my friends who understand anxiety. Dispite msging I really needed to talk it was hours until 1 replied. By that time I was tears, her phonecall helped as it was nice to talk it out. I felt much better, but definitely not 100%. She needed to attend to bubs and said she would call back and quickly hung up, Understandable. But I didn't hear back from her. Not that day, not the next day. No return phonecall. Personally if a friend of mine was upset I would not stop worrying until I knew they were ok.

I am not a priority in anyones life and its a terrible feeling. I don't know what to do.

1 Reply 1

Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi MsPinky,

Welcome to beyond blue.

Things sound a bit complicated and probably frustrating for you at the moment. I am not sure whether my reply will help much, because I want to put an different spin on the phone/message. And I will use the people the people in my circle as an example. There are times when I might send a message and not get a reply for hours or days. My wife, if she is working cannot have her phone on her, so it is pointless messaging her. I guess what I am saying is the speed of life these days means that sometime a message might not get read properly, or if the phone does not vibrate or whatever, they may not see it when you would like them to?

These days, and because of depression and anxiety, if I don't write something down, I am likely to forget it. So I would need a phone call reminder. Perhaps also your phone thought you were OK at the end of the call? And maybe it is me, but I have little faith in people calling me back, and that is regardless of whether it is a friend or something as big as Telstra.

I was talking to someone at Uni last year and they asked how bug my support group was and I gave her a number, and she questioned "that all?". This person btw used to self-harm. She believed a much larger group of people need to able to support one person. One of the people in my support group is a lecturer, and if she is working on a paper stops all messages and calls, except emergencies. I know that does not help but...

So what can you do?

It might odd that I will refer to my safety plan, but if my friends don't contact me, my next call should be to lifeline (13 11 44). So there is that option available to you?

Another idea might be to look at the posts on the forum relating to distraction and coping strategies for anxiety such as grounding and mindfulness.

You could also post your thoughts here on what you are going though and within a short time people will likely respond to you. And while we here, you could always note the call and chat options at the bottom of the page.

And finally there is the option of getting professional help if needed.

Most importantly, you are not alone. There are many people here that have anxiety related issues and understand what it is like, and can support you in this space.

Peace and comforting thoughts,