Lonely in my own home

Guest_85078489

Hi there,

I’m a Mum of 2, ages 3.5 and 1.
Lately I feel, sad, misunderstood & lonely.
My life consists of working (hard) and taking care of my children. I don’t feel like myself, I’ve gained weight, I never look well dressed or put together like I used to.
I’ve been through a significant amount of stress the past 12 months and now it’s all blown over I just feel, numb and sad.
I feel like my husband cops a lot of anger out of me but I honestly just feel he misunderstands me. It was recently our 10 year anniversary and he didn’t get me a single gift or organise anything. For Christmas, the same. As if my self worth wasn’t already low, I feel like he doesn’t value me either, even though I’ve given up my entire life and body for our family.
I am finding myself crying, more often than normal. Probably every 2nd day.

Does this sound like PPD? Or similar?
I don’t want to push my husband away but I’m starting to give up at this point.
My life just seems really fucking hard and boring at the moment and nobody understands how much I sacrifice and give up and how hard I try…

I don’t even know what else to say..

just thought I’d post here before I have to cook yet another dinner… in my lonely house.. 😞 maybe I should see my GP..

quirkywords

Guest. I thank you for your honesty and insights. Many reading your words will nod in agreement at your feelings whether they experience what you are experiencing

now or in the recent past or many many decades ago like I do.

Itbis hard being a parent to little ones and it is exhausting. Your husband may be in awe of your confidence , even if you don’t feel it. He may feel u sure what to say.
I think seeing your GP is a good start.
I know it is a. Lichen but taking care of your health is important. When my. Hikdren were young I went to a book club once every 2 months .

Is there something you like doing for yourself be it exercise, art, writing , films etc. Are you in a playgroup?

take care

therising

The warmest of welcomes to you at this incredibly challenging time in your life.❤️

I think motherhood can bring about a massive identity shift in a whole variety of ways. As a mum to a 22yo gal and 19yo guy (2 absolute legends), from my own experience I'd have to say there are times that can be highly rewarding and liberating and times that can be stressful, depressing and incredibly challenging.

I've found a lot of lessons in parenting and self development can come through hindsight, which can make learning seriously difficult at times. In hindsight, I've learned

Some challenges can be mentally disturbing, physically exhausting and soul destroying (the mind/body/soul trifecta) and they can mess with us something shocking at times. This doesn't mean there's anything 'wrong' with us, it means we're feeling the challenges deeply and easily. Finding solid guides to help us make better sense of those challenges and feelings is key at times. Some things can be impossible to understand, navigate and master alone
Our partner won't necessarily be our 'go to' person for some of the challenges we face. For example, if what we need is someone who can feel for us (in the ways of how and what we're feeling), if our partner's not a deeply feeling person then we may need to find someone who is. If what we need is a seer and our partner's not much of a visionary, with a strong imagination, this too can pose problems while they fail to see the best way forward for us
In mentioning the mind/body/soul factor earlier, who'd think dressing up to go out could include that factor but it can at times. It can become about how we mentally identify our self. 'I am no longer someone who looks good. I am no longer an excitement seeker or adventurer. I am no longer this or that. In fact, I am a nobody and nothing'. Of course, we're not a nobody or a nothing. It may just feel like it. 'I am someone who is struggling at the moment, to navigate through this intensely challenging part of my life' can be the real and absolute truth. Physically or chemically, a lack of moments in front of the mirror where we can say 'Gee, I look fantastic' can impact dopamine production, as can a lack of excitement seeking outside the house. With the natural or soulful side of things, a soul destroying lack of the really soulful things we need in life can be felt at times
This part would have made my life easier in general, with or without kids, if I'd been told it years ago: Emotion is 'energy in motion' or 'e-motion'. So, positive emotion is positive energy in motion. Sometimes the question is 'Why can't I feel any positive energy in motion moving through me?'. Right now, as I write, I can't feel a damn thing running through me and I know why, as I've learned a few things about energy and emotion over the years. I'm not managing sleep apnea properly, a major energy zapper. Don't have a lot of dopamine production going on or endorphins running through me, due to a lack of exciting things in life. I'm not consuming the right kind of energy found in certain foods and if water is what helps excite every cell in our body into high states of activity, I can feel my cells shriveling up (slight exaggeration 😅) and screaming for water and the list goes on. When it comes to feeling plenty of energy, I'm doing everything wrong

Definitely can pay to see your GP. Get some blood work done to measure your chemical energy levels and where they're at (B12, iron, thyroid production etc). Perhaps discuss the need to speak to someone about managing the depressing challenges you're feeling so deeply. Maybe consider the type or quality of sleep you're facing, as sleep is a process that's meant to restore energy. And maybe there's other stuff your GP might suggest. A great GP is a great detective. It's their job to detect the reasons for why we're feeling life in the ways we are. One of the greatest lessons I've learned is never settle for 'Life can become exhausting when you've got so much going on. You'll be fine once things settle down'. Technically, that's not detecting anything.