- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Mark Topic as New
- Mark Topic as Read
- Pin this Topic for Current User
- Follow
- Printer Friendly Page
living alone
- Mark as New
- Follow Post
- Mute
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Report Post
Wondering do you live alone if you don't mind me asking , and how long for , how do you find it ?
No need for any details if your not comfortable or anything like that, not prying just wondering about it all.
l've been living alone on off mostly 5yrs now since splitting with ex w. My daughter use to stay a lot but not much these days, 16, bf and friends over in her town, 20mins away . Also had a friend staying over a lot for awhile or me her place, separate rooms just friends. Then met my gf, together nearly two but 70% long distance,talking 24 7 non the mess but still mostly living alone. That ahsn't worked out and, still living alone.
It's the first time really since late teens and what a time of life for it to come along. l'm just wondering? l'm afraid l just can't get use to it or like it . Although times it's good also , like coming home tired, kick back for the night do your thing, watch what you want or sleep all day or listen to whatever you please as loud as you want day or night, no one else to worry about or please. It can be nice when the wk end rolls round too in ways , same reasons.
But , l still have a lot of trouble with it , don't think l'll ever get use to it. Even though there were plenty of times married would've given anything for this kinda freedom sometimes.
This house is pretty big , to me too big for one, one and a bit if my d stays. Not really into friends hangin round too often , assuming l had a few anyways, new town. But l think a smaller house would help , dunno how some people especially rich people live in monster mansions alone. l've even thought of sharing , got a spare room, it'd help the finances too. But tbh , getting a bit past that with a stranger and it'd cramp my style a bit and spoil the things l do like about this new life alone right now and having all this space to myself.
But over all , l'm really feeling the loneliness. Just don't know what to do about it though, how to deal with it . l feel like l'll get sorta lost in my own non existent world if l'm not careful. l do get out and about quite a bit actually but it's usually alone too. l've always enjoyed alone time even as a kid but l seem to have lost that these days and l find it's really taking it's toll on spirits and like life is passing by.
- Mark as New
- Follow Post
- Mute
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Report Post
ps
How long have you two been at it anyway btw and in normal times how much time have you actually spent in person or over all , when do you plan on being together properly forever? Get the feeling too your mans might be ok with some part time from afar thing some people are , just l think ya said somewhere he stays somewhere else when he's over and has some MH stuff himself too or something if l remember . l don't mean that in any critical ways or even to do with my sitch everyones different and want or like whatever they do l don't care but just wondering that's all.
l did have space problems earlier admittedly and there were time l'd thought l could keep this part time life forever best of both worlds maybe. lt was a bit early for me too though , later on as more time passed we began molding into each other so nicely l felt more ready and these days yeah , just wanna get our life moving really if we're gonna have one.l mean 6 or 12mths on's ok but it's becoming again the will it even happen the big question with the latest turn of events last few days.
Could still be in the next mth or two or it could be 2yrs away now, we'll know more in a few wks from here now, ahh, we hope.
rx
- Mark as New
- Follow Post
- Mute
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Report Post
Well , we've had about 3 more false alarms this wk again , she's coming not is isn't and it's back to we now have no clue again. lt's not her fault she'd love nothing more everything going on up there is taring her up . l think when and if she does get back though l better padlock the gates ,
Ohwell , we're use to it buttttt , we see. rx
- Mark as New
- Follow Post
- Mute
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Report Post
Hey RX
I havent been on the air as much as I used to....How have you been going?
Been looking after my 90 year old mum bless her heart. Its sad to see my mums memory fade nearly on a daily basis...It breaks my heart
Paul
- Mark as New
- Follow Post
- Mute
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Report Post
Gday Paul ,
pretty up and down butttt, some progress thanks mate.
Sorry to hear about your mum but yeah it is a very sad time unfortunately isn't it , and the changes are pretty hard to see l know.
Hang in there hey. rx
- Mark as New
- Follow Post
- Mute
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Report Post
Hey blondguy Paul
Thinking of you and your mum right now.
All I could think of to say was she must have been the most wonderful mother to you, to have raised such a beautiful boy, who grew into the noble and courageous man we all know and love.
Hugs.
EM
- Mark as New
- Follow Post
- Mute
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Report Post
Hey rx
So it's still a roller coaster for you guys atm then?
My situation with BF is similar in some ways, but very dissimilar in others.
No roller coaster. Not for me anyway. BF gets his hopes up ALL the time, not understanding Australia's take on the whole "border" / travelling stuff.
I don't lol.
We've been "together" for about 5 1/2 years now... wow hey lol.
Together in person for about 3 months ie living together.
Talk daily. Text too. Very rare to not talk in 24h.
BF decided to propose or that he wanted to marry me after one month living together... our "first date".
I had lots to sort out here and to say it went from bad to worse is the understatement of my entire life time... here it went from really bad to hellfire for years.
BF has ALWAYS been strong for me, most esp during my worst times.
He was just a stalwart supporter.
Tbh I think the dangers to all of us, took his sadness of us being apart to new levels of frustration and then depression when Covid hit.
My MH stuff was nothing about him.
His stuff was the MAN he is not being able to protect us.
He HAD to stay away during this time.
demon had used BFs name in affidavits and ofcourse it was all rot.
I needed to protect BF.
(I'll come back later, got a Vet appt for poodle and a Memorial for my best friend's teenage nephew tomorrow. Sad.)
Oh we know we want to get married lol. Neither of us have EVER had a better fit in a relationship. It's a no brainer really.
There are SO MANY factors for each of us delaying this.
I'm more fine with it than him (I think lol).
I don't want to marry until my youngest turns 18yo - legal reasons, keeping demon OUT.
Also I have about 4y left till my property is fully secured legal wise IMHO. demon is a demon.
BF needs to wait until another event and legal stuff is settled in his family before he can sensibly apply to come out here to retire.
BUT I am not "waiting to begin my life".
I'm living it!!
May as well!!
BBL.
Love EM
- Mark as New
- Follow Post
- Mute
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Report Post
Jesus em , that was quite a run down , sorry l didn't mean to get too nitty gritty or personal .
Us , not so sure atm . Yes you women need stuff from us, but we need stuff too , it's a two way street. Coming my way though l dunno , l'm far from getting and feeling what l need to feel secure about it and her lately and l;m getting to a point of do l put anymore time into this.
2 1/2 yrs and there's crucial things with her that still haven't changed one iota , they're big things and some of the most important things in a relationship and to me.But l'm almost convinced nothing will change them , or can , it's just the way her head works , her thinking, some people are just like that.
l've had these doubts before with her with things like this , saw them day one but hoped in time they'll improve and change but nothing will change them that l'm 99% sure of now. l won't live with them and if she won't do anything about them then l'm starting to think it might be time . Without going into it too much it's too personal but she's had everything and then some x 10, anyone else would need to change them , but , nothing.
Soooo , l'm reaching the end of my tether considering what l'l be going through to even keep us together for the next 6mths or however long all her crap takes.One things for sure if your going through this with someone for someone then there has to be 110% trust in all and your future together.
rx
- Mark as New
- Follow Post
- Mute
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Report Post
Hey RX and EM
thankyou for being the amazing people you are
My mum has just started to forget who I am in the last few days...😒
Paul
- Mark as New
- Follow Post
- Mute
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Report Post
oooooh okaaaay rx, that makes a lot of sense to me now why you're in this quandary over your relationship!!!
HEY!
If that "thing" or "things" that you're 99.9% certain WON'T change, hasn't changed with all your efforts.... heck...
Are they "deal breakers"?
It looks like they are with what you said....
rx.... ouch. 😣
Maybe it's THIS or these that are the major issues then?
I think it's been kind of noted in relationship articles that we can't really expect our partners to change... maybe be more considerate if we bring something to the table to consider???
But not actually "change".
I've got TWO deal breakers - infidelity and gambling.
He hates both of these as much as I do lol.
Our Values are aligned which has been pretty much non-existent (I found out too late) in my previous marriages.
Sure being abusive is a no brainer... BF has had his moments there! But when we've broken it down together later... it wasn't "anything" to do with "us" if that makes sense?
He used to get really frustrated and angry. Not with me but "at me"... hard to detail.
He doesn't any more.
We worked out he was being triggered.
Since we worked that out... nothing like that has happened.
BF feels that he gets SO MUCH out of this relationship, which is lovely really.
I do too ofcourse.
We're each other's best friends.
But there's a lot of LOVE.
rx you can ask me anything, as long as it's within the guidelines, I'd answer.
No biggies at all to me... how else do we work through issues than to be completely transparent with ppl who we think "have our backs"?
I've got your back big fella lol.
I'm sorry you find yourself in this predicament and seems to a deep, obvious 'fork in the road'.
That's really hard.
EMxxxx
- Mark as New
- Follow Post
- Mute
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Report Post
Oh dear Paul
I'm so sorry.
You KNOW she loves you!!
She always has and ALWAYS will, for all eternity. I hope you know that.
My heart is breaking for you Paul.
HUG HUGS.
Love EMxxxx
![](/skins/images/B1039C67CE4F021CAD7BCC3F8BFE1955/responsive_peak/images/icon_anonymous_message.png)