living alone

[Guest_1584]

Wondering do you live alone if you don't mind me asking , and how long for , how do you find it ?

No need for any details if your not comfortable or anything like that, not prying just wondering about it all.

l've been living alone on off mostly 5yrs now since splitting with ex w. My daughter use to stay a lot but not much these days, 16, bf and friends over in her town, 20mins away . Also had a friend staying over a lot for awhile or me her place, separate rooms just friends. Then met my gf, together nearly two but 70% long distance,talking 24 7 non the mess but still mostly living alone. That ahsn't worked out and, still living alone.

It's the first time really since late teens and what a time of life for it to come along. l'm just wondering? l'm afraid l just can't get use to it or like it . Although times it's good also , like coming home tired, kick back for the night do your thing, watch what you want or sleep all day or listen to whatever you please as loud as you want day or night, no one else to worry about or please. It can be nice when the wk end rolls round too in ways , same reasons.

But , l still have a lot of trouble with it , don't think l'll ever get use to it. Even though there were plenty of times married would've given anything for this kinda freedom sometimes.

This house is pretty big , to me too big for one, one and a bit if my d stays. Not really into friends hangin round too often , assuming l had a few anyways, new town. But l think a smaller house would help , dunno how some people especially rich people live in monster mansions alone. l've even thought of sharing , got a spare room, it'd help the finances too. But tbh , getting a bit past that with a stranger and it'd cramp my style a bit and spoil the things l do like about this new life alone right now and having all this space to myself.

But over all , l'm really feeling the loneliness. Just don't know what to do about it though, how to deal with it . l feel like l'll get sorta lost in my own non existent world if l'm not careful. l do get out and about quite a bit actually but it's usually alone too. l've always enjoyed alone time even as a kid but l seem to have lost that these days and l find it's really taking it's toll on spirits and like life is passing by.

[CMF]

I like my alone time too. I don't need people around but I like to be around people if that makes sense. I can happily sit in a Cafe, go shopping, work alone but I like that there are people around but I don't have to talk to them. I also enjoy a quiet night at home.

Cmf

[Guest_1584]

Yeah makes plenty of sense l'm very similar although l def' spend more time alone than most and work at home alone to,there's only me here a lot of the time sometimes wks. Took me a lot of getting use to living with gf when she's here, as much as l do love it, l also need my space and time where as she's no where near as spacey as me. When my d's here on the other hand we're both quite happy doing our own thing .

Me l like people when l like people and when l don't that's it.

[CMF]

Haha...me too

You & me...same same lol

[Guest_1584]

Funny , l often see myself when your struggling with m's stuff or when your thinking no thanks, l'll head of now, or l think l'll pass, exactly what l would do haha.

[Guest_1584]

Last we talked about things was in emailing over awhile ago, we kind of like doing that sometimes if we can't be in person. Well , l re read things and finally found a the simplest way of putting things down here.

Anyway , apart other dramas she seems to get herself into, the main is she's been basically trying to set herself up again with some contacts she's made up there while she's been there. She was admittedly left trapped into a corner all the legal stuff left her broke unless she gets the second part to which was her payout from the ex, which isn't looking to likely. Anywayyyy, this other stuff is looking as of last wk now worth her going on with and showing real promise in getting her back on her feet again and her independents back, but it means staying longer.

Sooooo, basically, it is better in the long run right now that she does and follows it through. Either that or be on a plane down to mine if l insisted and lose it all, unless l wanted to go up there for however long. But we agree though otherwise, me stepping back for awhile and getting on with my life is fairest on me for now otherwise after everything else.

lt's a weird thing though and l really don't know how to handle it tbh. But she's gotten this far now, and now it is looking like a bit longer would really pay of. Thing is l don't want to be in the waiting frame of mind, any more, been enough of that and l don't trust yet more this more that. She wants to know though, no pressure , but if l'll come up in about 6wks time again, as she'll be of a wk. But l don't know.

l'm not sure if it's cutting of the nose to spite the face but l feel like l need to either stop this or get on with us, yaknow. Going up for a wk is only going to start it again but then l'll be going home again and back to this limbo for we're not sure how long, again !!!! l mean we'd both be hoping we could work something out if l did go up again , but realistically, l don't see how we can unless she dumps it all and comes down her or l go up there until she's done.Arm that looks like until the end of the yr, but l don't trust that. Then there might be something else and something else.

rx

[CMF]

The good old limbo.

I see your predicament. I reckon I'd be like you, unsure. It's sortable the same with me, M & sis. Just waiting for her to move on so our path is clear.

Write down the positives/negatives in point form ie you don't want to live on Sydney, too much drama but she's caring, you're great together etc

Which column would have more points?

I wish I could say I really think this or I really think that but I know how you feel. Maybe you need to write all the positives/,negative about just her & see which way it leans?

Cmf

[Guest_1584]

Ahh thanks for that cm.

Yeppaa, l can not believe l've gotten myself into this predicament and limbo at this stage in life , what a bloody waste if yrs. Ok , in ways it's all my fault bc if l'd had let her stay earlier and move in here back when she could've , it could've all been transferred to Vic and we'd had been together right through.Maybe l was being overly cautious , ldk. l just couldn't make that kind of commitment back then.

My d said , she's funny , she's such a little woman, dado imagine if you just met somebody local with out all these dramas , she'd be already set up, she'd be independent she'd probably have her own place she'd even drive she'd be hassle free , she'd probably have money, there'd be no sydney and you could just bounce back and forth to ea others places no pressures,,,. well , l know! How did l get myself into this.

l don't trust this waiting any longer, feel like l'm getting lead around by the nose. And if it ever does end, by then she might decide she just can't leave up there. Well lf l turned up with a ring , she'd leave. But how could l do that right now we've haven't been properly together so long now, l wanna be together again properly first, Besides , her business she's got going there could really pay of.

OK , l'm gonna do that list, why not, l don't know wth else to do.

ps , never know, new man is sounding potential, but it's still so soon yet .

rx

[Guest_1584]

Something about our emails and last talk. We're both tired and been apart so long, all the dramas, now more delays- she's still a mess mentally, the sydney thing, l dunno but it's kind of had a giving up feel from us both l think, as if it's becoming a pip dream. And has all felt that way since l know she's feeling it all to.

Through the wk my d and l were heading over to the mountains for the day. Well the car broke down but we made it into this tiny town and stopped there trying to check out the car.There were toilets there, n shops or anything but a really nice tree lined road through the town and other cars were pulling in to rest or use the loos. Had my head under the bonnet looked up and this very nice looking lady was slowly walking past and checking me out . Well l must say l checked right out back and she was nice.Then she walked past a second time the same. Turned out she was parked behind us and sat there the whole time in her car. l couldn't see through the screen from where we were damn it.

lt all got me thinking later though, if l was properly single she'd be someone l'd go for and l'm very picky l rarely see anyone l'd go for and in a tiny town like this with a broken down car, what are the odds. My daughter noticed her, of course haha. l swear being around women with my daughter is like a gf or wife, she eyes them all of it cracks me up and she's like me , spots anything going on at a glance. Well it was later on when she gave me that talk haha, so cute. About the imagining if l'd had met somebody locally stuff l mentioned last post .

Wel with everything so weird with gf , or whatever we are now, you know, anything like this makes you think and l can't help but think of the future now, bc l have no damn clue with us and it's been so long. Feels like we're flogging a dead loss tbh atm.

rx

[Guest_1584]

GF said last , l'll try anything we come up with and l agreed to, but at the same time later it all just started feeling weird again. And l felt her feeling the same in that we weren't to confident and it'd all been so long.

Sometimes l think look she's still the same girl that has lived here at my place with me many many times . We've lived real life, right here, we've spent mths and mths together and it was so beautifully natural that what could be wrong even though it's been so long now. She'd still be that same girl , right? But l dunno , it all feels so weird and different.

And tbh , l don't even know if she would still be that same girl. So much has happened for her and she's had all these health problems, she's gotten use to being so far away alone , how can either of us know.

rx

[Guest_1584]

lt's crazy bc it hasn't happened and probably wouldn't even if it does at some stage , for a long time yet.

But that thing the other day really got me thinking. What would l do atm if l did just come cross or meet somebody else. lt's been so long with gf, but even so, the emotional side has still been there between us right though. Feelings well , they have become blurred l have to admit, bc it's just been so long and so much has happened, and so many false hopes.

Well l probably won't have the problem anyway .

rx