living alone

[Guest_1584]

Wondering do you live alone if you don't mind me asking , and how long for , how do you find it ?

No need for any details if your not comfortable or anything like that, not prying just wondering about it all.

l've been living alone on off mostly 5yrs now since splitting with ex w. My daughter use to stay a lot but not much these days, 16, bf and friends over in her town, 20mins away . Also had a friend staying over a lot for awhile or me her place, separate rooms just friends. Then met my gf, together nearly two but 70% long distance,talking 24 7 non the mess but still mostly living alone. That ahsn't worked out and, still living alone.

It's the first time really since late teens and what a time of life for it to come along. l'm just wondering? l'm afraid l just can't get use to it or like it . Although times it's good also , like coming home tired, kick back for the night do your thing, watch what you want or sleep all day or listen to whatever you please as loud as you want day or night, no one else to worry about or please. It can be nice when the wk end rolls round too in ways , same reasons.

But , l still have a lot of trouble with it , don't think l'll ever get use to it. Even though there were plenty of times married would've given anything for this kinda freedom sometimes.

This house is pretty big , to me too big for one, one and a bit if my d stays. Not really into friends hangin round too often , assuming l had a few anyways, new town. But l think a smaller house would help , dunno how some people especially rich people live in monster mansions alone. l've even thought of sharing , got a spare room, it'd help the finances too. But tbh , getting a bit past that with a stranger and it'd cramp my style a bit and spoil the things l do like about this new life alone right now and having all this space to myself.

But over all , l'm really feeling the loneliness. Just don't know what to do about it though, how to deal with it . l feel like l'll get sorta lost in my own non existent world if l'm not careful. l do get out and about quite a bit actually but it's usually alone too. l've always enjoyed alone time even as a kid but l seem to have lost that these days and l find it's really taking it's toll on spirits and like life is passing by.

[Guest_1584]

Yeah negativity with her is a walking contradiction in terms. On one hand she does have this negative side in talk, mainly little silly everyday life crap. Yet with big stuff, the real, she also has incredible out looks and positive strong spirit and fight. Really comes into her own there's no one else you'd want more in your corner , when most would be turning into a quivering mess. Not an easy person to explain hence way to many rants but when it comes to the goods, they're brilliant.

Tbh , as l've told her and known 12mths, after everything that's happened she just needs to get back onto steady Terra firma, real life and she'd settle back into herself.

Kinda hoping we both might do soma that if l just leave her be for awhile.

[CMF]

You raise a good point. You've both endured tge turbulence & just need to settle into normal life. Sometimes the extra 'stress' of relationship stops this happening.

Take a step back, breathe, be YOU for a while. Just YOU.

CMF

[Guest_1584]

So true thanks cm.

There's another saying that would go well with the empty cup , be still !

And what better way to replenish an empty cup. Exactly what l need.

rx

[Guest_1584]

Unfortunately it's exactly what she needs to.

[Guest_1584]

She desperately needs to just live again, have her grounding again. Like being here and just living the way we do she does, normal, earthy, just life, she thrives,it's been so long for her.

[Guest_1584]

Daughter did my Tarot the other night.

Not exactly encouraging either they kept talking about a new start. l haven't don't mine in awhile , her cards never read me very well buttttt, l was hoping for at least something a little uplifting. But if things don't work out with gf then what is this love mine have talked about 4 yrs now, it could be longer l'd have to check. Ha, maybe mine are the ones not reading me too well atm.But 4 yrs or more that's another story, doesn't happen and they pick up everything business wise which usually means they're reading.

Anyway , the reason l brought that up is gf sent a long email this morning, talked about everything. we do this when there's complications, email it. Thing is though once again we had a plan only a few wks ago , supposing we picked up again and went on. The plan was before the latest dramas. Anywayyyyy, the email, yeppa, that was about as encouraging as d's cards. In a nut shell what it basically narrowed down to though was back to the Sydney thing.

lf she can get a house l could move up there and ra ra ra. l think half her drama's just been stalling which l've suspected bc really, she doesn't wanna leave.

[day1startsnow]

Hi everyone 🙂

I am living on my own for the first time - I am 30 and it is quite challenging, I live with my dog but it just gets so lonely. I have a diagnosis BPD and Anxiety. I try to do hobbies but get distracted easily, I enjoy my own company but its just so new.

[Guest_1584]

Hi.

lt is harder when your younger but eh only 30 absolutely anything could happen for you yet so this is most likely just a blip in time atm.

l sort of enjoy it now, sometimes love it, answer to no one and do what l want, but l do also miss being two, very much so a lot of the time to. lf we do live together again though it's gonna take some getting use to all over again now let me tell you.

rx

[day1startsnow]

Hi rx, thanks for your response - I do need to appologise, I am new to the forum and thought I was replying to the group in general, I felt rude for intruding on your comments. Thank you for your reply nonetheless, it provides insight. I do miss having a partner to live with, or a parent (was living with my mum and off throughout the last decade). I think being on my own gives me time to grow. May I ask how long you have been living on your own for? thanks, Ash.

[Guest_1584]

Hi Ash nah no prob,just drop into any threads that interest you really even start a new one on anything you'd like to talk about. The living alone thing on this one though yeah been awhile must admit , it's just kinda morphed into life in general since.

But yeah some alone time you do grow for sure in all kinds of ways and doing what you want and answering/explaining to no one is def' a bonus to. Myself sorta on and of the last 8 yrs or so. My daughter lives with me a bit though and my gf has a lot through that to. Over all l am more a couple person even though l do have a spacey thing .

rx