Just ended a narcissistic relationship

[TeenaW]

Hi,
I didn't even know what a 'narcissist' was until I realised I had been dating one for the past 2 years. I thought he was the one and leaving was the last thing I ever wanted to do but I had no choice. Reading about those types of people NOW is helping me understand but certainly not making it hurt any less. I'm only days into leaving him, I don't think it has hit me but I have very little support network where I am so I am hoping this will give me that help during the dark  moments I am going to experience. Thank you in advance for your help.

[white knight]

Hi TeenaW, welcome

I was in my 50's when I expressed to a friend what my mother has done to my sister and I over our lives. He said "sounds like a narcissistic personality. I googled it and found a book called "walking on egg shells". You can read up short descriptions of this by googling "waif witch queen hermit"

Being educated in these matter helps your recovery. I think after you read it you'll be clearer about the topic.

Tony WK

[BurtNewton]

It's never easy ending something. There will always be pain, but you've done the right thing if it was making you unhappy. The most important thing is not to lose sight of the things that are most important to you. Remember there are always people out there willing to listen and help, even if it doesn't feel that way. I would suggest reaching out to old friends and setting up a support network, because isolating yourself is the worst thing to do.

[Sadgina]

Hi there, I just join in today as I think I needed someone to talk to in regard of what I going through now. I didn't realise that I was living with a NPD guy for 5 years. Our relationship start wonderful, and I even thought I'd meet my soul mate. He'll do anything for me, very protective of me, showers me with expensive gifts. In the other hand he's controlling everything, financially, told me what he wanted me to wear, what to eat, which friends I can see. My son (not his son) moved out as he has an OCD problem. He uses it as ticket just to nagged us how dirty we were. In the last couple years things gone from south to north. He became a nagger, call me names, counting everything he does and I don't do anything, there's time that we had screaming much and had told me he wishes me to die and rot somewhere. I was so hurts with his behaviours now, I'd hang on to the relationship because we bought property together with only my deposit in it. He managed to change my career as a nurse earning good wages to do a labour work earning less, I was working with his friend company as labourer 5 days a week for 2 years, then he wanted more time together so he got me a job with one of his other mates company , this time 3 days a week. Then start to belittling me as i don't earn much. I should get a full-time job. I can't win no matter what I do and say. I never had any control of any of our finances, I don't know where all our money gone he earned good money but that's his money he can buy whatever he wants as he earned more than me. I always work during our relationship to help with the bills and mortgage, but he's always saying that he pays everything, Now I had enough and moved out to my sister, as I was scared he'll keep knives under bed and pillow. I wanted to sell the property and move on, but he'll go through all sort to get back with me and make the sale of the house so difficult. I am exhausted and very anxious. Now he's angry with me from leaving him, he made me feel guilty, and now he's not talking to me and I'm worried about him. sometimes I think I go back with him make a peace and start over again. I love this guy with all of me now I am confused. Please anyone can help me think through as I am very confused and not coping well and hurting so much. I don't know what to do.

Thanks BeyondBlue

Sadgina

[Birdy77]

Dear Sadgina,

I am so sorry to read of the position you find yourself in.

There are a lot of people using this forum who will be able to relate to your situation.

I hope that you stay here and talk it through because if you go back to this guy, he will not change I'm afraid. He has treated you very badly for a very long time, and will continue to do so, if you go back.

Unfortunately you have property together, and he will no doubt make everything very difficult ... I am thinking that you will most likely need some legal support, and some support also for your psychological and emotional wellbeing.

Sadgina, I am wondering if you could copy and paste your first post here into a "New Thread", as the thread you've posted to is old and the people who have posted here are no longer active on the forums. You will get more support and more replies this way.

If not, that's ok, I can talk to you here and hope that others will find you as well.

I have some experience of narcissistic relationship abuse, so I can relate to some of your experiences.

Stay strong Sadgina.

We will help support you and will always listen and care.

🌻birdy

[Sadgina]

Thanks Birdy77

Yes I managed to post in new thread, but I wanted to edit it as I get carried away and used the whole pages. I can see it’s way too long and not necessary.

Thanks for your adviced I felt good after reading your response

Take care

Sadgina