Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Community Manager
You can win one of three $200 gift cards. Complete our survey by 5pm, 30 June 2024 AEST to enter the draw. Your response will be anonymous so you can't be identified.

Is my husband gay?

Community Member

3 years ago I discovered my husband was spending time with gay men. He told me it was just mateship and they had gardening and antiques. However, I discovered explicit text messages and photos . When confronted he told me he was trying to find ways to get an erection as he hadn’t been able to fit several years hence no sex.
He told me he would stop because he loved me and wanted to stay married to me.
Just recently my husbands business went broke and he has just spent 4 weeks in a private mental health facility. I have recently found searches in history on the laptop of male gay porn. I haven’t brought it up as yet because his mental health is fragile. I’m exhausted from trying to close his business and save our house as he has driven us bankrupt. What should I do?

1 Reply 1

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Notmylife,

That sounds really stressful, especially with having to close the business and trying to save the house. The first thing I want to ask is how is your support? Do you have people around you that you can lean on? In my own personal experience I can feel very stressed when I have everything on my shoulders.

Would perhaps speaking to a professional together, for example couples counselling, be a potential option for you? It might help with communication, I can understand that it is all challenging at the moment.

We are definitely here for you!