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im having a really hard time

Vvp
Community Member

This is my first time on this forum and I don’t really like to share but I feel so lonely and helpless. I am a single mum and I'm blessed  to have children but I'm living in a toxic household because my choice to continue living on my own was ripped away from me from my mother as soon as she found out I was pregnant she canceled my lease without my knowledge to force me to move in with her so here I am and I have been living here for 10mths now and the way she treats me mentally its unbearable and I feel my pain is overwhelming my strength, we are always colliding and arguing and she is so controlling to the point that everyone around me is believing her and her story and they are not listening to my side of the story because they think that I’m the bad guy  I have no support so I’m constantly defending myself and my children.

I was hoping to start a family and live a happy life with the farther of my children we were together for 6years but as soon as he found out I was pregnant he bailed. I have been applying for rentals but I constantly receive rejection mail. I don’t have friends so I can’t crash at their house for a night or 2 just so my children and I can have a break from all the negativity that surrounds us. Every  possible detour that I hope is a solution  for my children and I  we ends up at a dead end. 

2 Replies 2

Sophie_M
Moderator
Moderator
Dear Vvp,
 
Firstly, let us welcome you to the forums. We can hear that you are trying to do the best for your children, and we are so sorry that you feel you are in a dead end. Raising children can be a struggle but raising children in a toxic household must be exhausting. We can understand why you would be wanting a respite from that situation, even for a night. Thank you for having the courage to seek help, it shows true strength.
 
Can we ask, are you safe in the household? As you mention your mother being controlling and that you argue a lot, please know that if at anytime you don’t feel safe for your children or yourself to contact emergency services on 000.
 
We would highly recommend contacting Relationships Australia, they provided excellent resources and supports for promoting healthy relationships, including families in all stages of life. They will be able to discuss possible ways for you and your children to move out and link you with services to meet that goal. You can call them on 1300 364 277
 
We would also like to recommend a link to assist with emergency housing, even if it is just to discuss possible options in case the need arises that you must get out of the house. Please go to Ask Izzy and follow the prompts to get current emergency housing options in your area and contacts.
 
We are here for you, if you would like a counsellor to talk though the things that lead to you always being treated as the bad guy. You can contact Beyond Blue either via phone  1300 22 4636 or through Beyond Blue Online Chat. The Beyond Blue safety planning app might be worth looking at, too. You can read about how it works and where to download it here.
 
Thank you for trusting our supportive community and sharing your experiences, we hope you find the shared insights and advice of our members helpful.
 
Warm regards
Sophie M

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Vvp, hi and thanks for coming to the forums.

Living with your mother who is not treating you as you would have hoped, is not good for either you or the kids and the father who decided to 'bail' after finding out you were pregnant, may also not be a particularly sensible move, as I'm only looking after your own protection.

There are emergency housing in your State and you could call Link2home on 1800 152 152 for an information and telephone referral service open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, or in Vic 1800 825 955 but if can google 'emergency housing australia' many places will appear so you can contact. . 

Other options are St. Vinnies, Salvos and in particular Anglicare who have houses/flats avaialable that are furnished to let people like yourself stay in, until you are comfortable to move on and depends on your situation.

Please let us know how you get on.

Geoff.

Life Member.