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I've lost the spark and romance. What do you suggest I do?!?!

Community Member

So basically id like some advice on how to go about improving my current relationship with my partner.

We have been together for some years now and we hang out quite often but with recent struggles with my own happiness I'm starting to lose the spark & the romance I had. We barley have sex anymore. Our friendship group thinks we act like "just good mates" (which is true, they're not a huge pda person which I'm trying to adapt to still but I think that's also what's made me so cold towards them in a romantic feel. That they won't show it so I need to get back at them and not do it to them also, public or private ). I love them with all my heart and can't imagine life with out them. They're a huge support line for me and encourage me to do my best everyday but I'm so cold to them lately. I don't feel like myself and feel we're not in a good place but it's my attitude towards the relationship that needs to change but I find it difficult to.

I hate the "just friends" thing and that really upset me hearing our friends think that but they only told me that, not my partner and I feel if I bring it up my partner will only say "well I do love you, you know it too but you also know I don't show it much around others but I show it to you" etc etc. and I know they do love me, I love them. But I can't help but feel so cold towards them quite often lately and it's not healthy for any of us as my partner will just think it's due to work struggles or something but it's about him but it's my fault..

Sorry for the ramble I just needed to vent..

1 Reply 1

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor
Hello +, the only way forward with any relationship issue is communication. You've outlined what you think the issue is quite well, but you seem reticient to bring it up with your partner. Things won't change unless you do. Are you perhaps afraid of the outcome of this conversation? That's understandable, none of us likes conflict, especially in a relationship. Guessing the outcome of a potential conversation is just that, a guess, and it does nothing to move the issue forward. Regardless of whether or not that is his or her answer, it still leaves you unsatsified as you are wanting more physical affection than he or she displays. This is an issue to discuss and work through and come to a compromise on. Let us know how you go.