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I struggle to make friends and get people to like me. I find it hard to trust.

Lilyem
Community Member

I'm 30 and for as long as I can remember I have always struggled to make and keep friends. In high school there was a group of 20 of us, but I was the butt of all jokes, trusted no one and was made to feel small. So much that at my 10 yr reunion i had 3 of the 20 apologise for the way they treated me. The people i'm 'friends' with now I stumbled across at a pub crawl 10 yrs ago (I had gone to school with them) and even now I feel I still don't fit. Or when I think i've bonded with someone, I get 'dumped' for someone else. In all my jobs i've had, I either had a supervisory role or worked with people twice my age. I have no interests or hobbies.

I recently had my first child and thought mum's group would be a fresh start, I am the youngest and they all already have mum friends outside of the group. But for some reason, we didn't get invited to one kid's party. I can't for the life of me figure out what I did to this mum that caused her to invite everyone else but us. It broke my heart and sent me into a downward spiral, because up until now my issues around this only affected me, but now it is also affecting my child.

I don't know what to do, I feel like I can't win no matter what I do. I put myself out there and get shut down. I have no close friends, I trust no one except my husband. I can't figure out where I am going wrong or how to fix myself. I know I have some walls up in some aspects of my life, but try to put them down.

I want to get out more with my child, but I work 4 days a week and struggle to find time to get out on that one week day off.

1 Reply 1

aegidius
Community Member

I would have really liked some apologies from some of my school classmates at reunions for bullying... that would have gone a long way to giving me closure on some of that stuff. You're lucky they had the balls to stand before you and say sorry, mine certainly didn't... friends are a problem for many people, they certainly were for me.

How did you get on with people in your work world? Is it perhaps that you just fit in better with older folks? And is your hubby supportive? I know it's really hard when you have a child, they will look up to you and take their cues from you, so you understandably feel you have to be the best you can be for them.