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I'm so goddamn lonely

Keeley23
Community Member

At 15 I was first diagnosed with health issues. Mentally and physically. That was when I first started noticing my friends from highschool not wanting me around as much. There was a group of maybe 7 of us who always hung out and drank together and hand fun. At 18 I had to move an hour away with family and then I really noticed that they didn't want a bar of me. I would ask them to hang out and they'd say no. I could only hang out with them if they invited me somewhere where it was convenient for them. I always have to travel to meet their needs. Now Im 21 and live 2 hours away with my partner. I don't drink due to having a problem with alcohol and it just makes me realise that they only liked me conditionally. They only liked me if I was there conveniently for them and drank. Now I sit at home, in my bed and I just feel empty. I have no one I can talk to. I have no one to spend my day with and while my partner is amazing it's just not the same as having a friend. I want someone I can message when something good happens. When I feel sad. I just want someone. I feel so goddamn lonely and empty and there's a hole in my chest. I feel close to collapsing in on myself. I'm exhausted by my want and desire and I don't know how to keep up with it

 

1 Reply 1

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Keeley, first of all if you have recognised that alcohol was a problem and then stopped is a credit to you because at your age this is something people don't realise, being encouraged by their friends 'just to have another one'.

These 'friends' aren't interested with someone who doesn't want to drink alcohol because they don't realise that even though you don't drink you can join in with the fun they are having, however, now you should ignore these people and develop other interests with your partner.

Other new groups accept those who don't drink, whereas your other friends who you drank with tend to discard their friends who suddenly stop drinking.

Geoff.

Life Members.