Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

I cant stand my brother and mum's enabling

Community Member

I currently live at mums with her, a family friend, and my younger brother, while im at uni.

Im here because my younger brother is 14yrs old and still pisses the bed. He doesnt clean it until everyone starts screaming at him (because it smells like homeless people). Even then he still doesnt clean it up fully. The house stinks of piss, and I cant even have friends/family, let alone a GF or 'friend' over, because its that embarrassing. Mum does nothing to enforce anything and it just enables him to continue the behaviour time and time again.

Futhermore, he abuses my cats (smothers them [hugging] even after they start crying out and clawing). Every time I take them off him he looses it and takes a swing at me, sometimes even has pulled a weapon on me.

I know mim tries her best to deal with the situtaion but its not enough. I dont know how much longer I can take this s#!¥. If I didnt have to deal with crippling finances (a $ 5000 loan and centerlink payments of only 270/fn), I would have moved out ages ago. I dont know what to do and its driving me insane, i need advice/help.

1 Reply 1

Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear TheHumanSeed~

Welcome here, posting was a pretty good thing to do as you sound very trapped at the moment. It certainly looks like living as you do is pretty grim

It sounds from what said that it is your younger brother's behavior that is the cause of the problems. Do you get on with the family friend OK? Irrespective of anything else you should not be subject to violence, with or without a weapon. Have you had a proper discussion with your mother and that friend as to what can be done? I know you said your mother is not that effective, is that due to not knowing what to do? It sounds very much like your brother needs help.

Being cruel to the cats, even if it is unintentional, is just not on. You do right in stopping it, can you quickly enlist someone else to help you when it happens again?

Do you mind if I ask how much longer your studies go for?

If they are going to take a lengthy period what are you options for moving out? While I realize you might not be in the best of financial situations is there any possibility of living with other students in a shared house? Failing that do you have any other family you can go to?

I hope you can come back and talk more, it is a difficult situation