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Sisters going behind brothers back and seeing his kids,

Community Member

My brother split with his ex gf 10yrs ago. lt was a very rocky relationship and he also got into a few drugs and into a bit of trouble, couldn't hols a job.

They had two kids about 10ish at the time and he hasn't been able to see them since, 10yrs ago.it's a very sad sitch but he's been deeply depressed for years not seeing them but this last few yrs has been trying to get his life on track.

l think him and the ex just fight and she won't let him near them and he hasn't been together enough to go to courts or anything. They must be in their 20s now.

l have 6 sisters , l'm 3hrs away and don't have much to do with them but 12mths ago one of them went over to WA behind his back and spent a wk with his kids. They didn't tell him and when he found out he was in tears and suicidal for 6mths.

Now l find out they've just had his daughter over to Melbourne behind his back, he only lives an hour out of Melbourne and they didn't tell him or help them meet, She hasn't seen her dad in over 10yrs.

l talked about this with a friend of mine who is a shrink and also a canceller and she said as l thought, that was absolutely despicable , that was her word ,of them to do all this and not tell him or get them together. l thought the same thing.

Well , now they've done it again and had his daughter over and only an hour away , behind his back. Which again l thought was just a sickening thing to do and l think he should know.He missed her whole childhood .

l'm thinking about telling him , what do you think ?. On one hand though l'm worried about of course what it will do for him but on the other l think he should know.

2 Replies 2

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi randomx, welcome

Well I tend to disagree. I hope you'll hear me out and consider why.

Three times you said "behind his back" as if that was your sisters intention. But your brothers children are neices and nephews to you and your siblings. People have every right to pursue their relatives of their choice. It shouldnt be seen as a "strength by numbers" situation.

I take a positive view. What if your sister was to one day (and you could suggest this to her) ask her neice if she'd like to meet her dad at a bbq at her place.?

Loyalty between siblings is great in terms of any bad words said that isnt true. But there is also an approach of not getting involved between others fueds. And being helpful towards people mending their rifts.. .especially if, in this case your brother reunites with his vhildren. What a great thing to contribute towards your brothers life?

Hope that helps.


Hi WK.

Yeah , l see your point. l'm not sure , they saw them 12mths ago behind his back and did nothing , this time she stayed 1 wk l believe and they still hid it, so l just dunno what to think.

l know l've had a few wks from hell though so l don't wanna get mixed up in it if there's no need that's for sure.

l just know what he's been through.