Hi, welcome
We often read of affairs on this forum and their devastating effect on the poster here. The added factor here is that lately your husband has chosen same sex is a different demographic. It simply raises more questions in that- how could you be "blamed" when his desires are such you could never fulfill?
You must be saddened and lost so any confusion is totally justified.
You dont mention if you both have ever sort counseling over your troubles with sexual incompatibility? As he has previously highlighted to you that that was a problem a common cause of action, on his part, would be to initiate such a suggestion, dont you think?
I cant recommend to leave him or not, however it does get to a stage where your mental health has to take precedence over all else. Confusion needs clarification so you can move forward with confidence. If you feel that way then counseling would be beneficial to you.
When someone commits acts that is unacceptable their common defence is to blame the other partner. That can lead to doubting yourself which is shifting responsibility.
I'm glad you've found this forum. Its a friendly place and you can repost amytime as developments continue if you feel so.
TonyWK
