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How do you overcome loneliness when...

Community Member

How do you overcome loneliness when you feel:

forgotten by all those you know / knew

always the one to make "first contact"

that there is no point meeting new people or caring about new people cause they will only let you down and disappoint you like everyone else has.

Like your struggles, thoughts and feelings mean nothing because your a straight white middle aged male and your life must be amazing . Men can't be the targets of sexism. White people can't be targets of racism. Straight people can't be targets of bigotry.

in the reverse can you be happy and on your own?

5 Replies 5

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi AJ, welcome

When I had high anxiety , the world was against me. But the worlds people are imperfect - just dont ask them, they'll tell you otherwise.

What is needed is a balanced approach. Also forget being black and white in a grey world.


Topic: fortress of survival- beyondblue

Topic: worry worry worry- beyondblue

Topic: the balance of your life- beyondblue

Topic: the labyrinth of friendships- beyondblue

Tony WK

Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello AJ,

I am sorry you feel like this when everything looks bleak and you feel so lonely.

I am wondering has something happened recently to make you feel like this and have you been let down or disappointed recently?

I think you can be happy on your own if that is what you want.


People have their own struggles regardless of gender or age, or background..

Community Member

Hi AJ,

Yes I think I know what you mean. People who are supposedly close to you/friends have a tendency to disappear when you need them the most.

I know everyone goes through their own problems and struggles. I try to always be there when they need me yet the reverse can't be said.

I call to say hello when they don't but they never have time for me. So much for keeping open the line of communication.

I agree with Quirky about being happy on my own. Well trying to. Just that when you have MI issues it's good practice to maintain social connections. Clearly it's easier said than done

Community Member
Thanks for the comments and it is nice to know i'm not the only one who has people disappear when you need them. I think this time of year is bad for me because of dates (Christmas, New Year, My Birthday) that remind me i'm alone and or all the people I have know who made no effort to keep in touch or be friends when I needed them.

Community Member

Hi AJ2014,

I'm going to watch thus thread with interest, as I'm also:

"a straight white middle aged male", add "short, balding, unemployed, and glasses-wearing" 🙂

I've been tracking "we must catch up for a coffee" promises from people I've known, and the average is over 4 years without delivery.

I actually decided on my 50th birthday to give up on ever initiating contact, or believing other people's promises.

Since then (coincidence? no longer giving out desperate vibes?) a dad from my daughter's school, and a guy I knew in passing from the gm years ago, have both started catching up for a coffee.

I do feel like your post could have been written with me in mind, so I'll be watching here, and hoping you can find something to chip away at your loneliness.