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How do I respond to my partner's negativity?

Community Member

My partner has depression and anxiety and I just want some advice on how I should respond when he messages me and it is negative. The negativity is not necessarily directed at me but it's almost as if he can't seem to find joy or happiness in anything at the moment. He goes through periods of highs and lows I have noticed. At the moment he's in the low mood where he speaks about the whole world being place where no-one cares for anyone else, everyone just wants what they want and they don't care about any one else, no-one wants to work or sacrifice but he does. He speaks sometimes as if he is some sort of supreme God where he does nothing wrong and is just the best and everyone else is crap. I feel like I'm never good enough, I don't answer the way he wants me to when he asks questions, he always thinks I'm trying to do things to stuff him around mentally. As if everything is a personal attack on him. He acts like he is so hard done by and that he is the only person in the world that anything is hard for and if everyone in the world is doing things just to make him angry or upset. It's so frustrating. I don't know how to respond to the constant negativity. He will counter argue anything positive I try to say with something negative. I can't win no matter what I do or how I act. I feel like everything with him is a test. I feel like I'm always failing. It's as if he loves to tell me how much he sacrifices for me and my children every day by working so hard, we are all ungrateful etc etc. Should I argue back at him or should I let it all just go? I feel like he would argue with me to get his point across and I would not argue just so I can have peace. I'm at such a loss as to how to respond to him in just every day conversations these days. It's not ok for him to be nasty or mean or hurtful. I'm not anyones emotional punching bag. I had an emotionally abusive ex husband. I don't need an emotionally abuse partner now!

10 Replies 10

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Tanya, at the moment you can't physically live with someone who is suffering from any type of depression who turns the situation around and keeps blaming you for some unknown reason/s.

Depending on the situation of your living conditions now, it would be wise for either one of you to move out so you can protect yourself.