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How can I make friends?

Haidut
Community Member

Hello,

I won't go into the gory details but I've been very very sick for the past 13 years - it took some of my childhood and all of my teen years. I'm now rapidly getting better. I'm thrilled about this and looking forward to finally getting to experience life. I'm at the stage now where I want to go out, do stuff and meet people. I don't have any friends due to the isolation I experienced from my illness. I'm trying really hard to make friends with people wherever I go. Last week I met a guy who I would really like to become friends with (I'm a girl btw). I asked if I could add him on Facebook and he said yes, so I added him. I honestly don't think he has any romantic interest in me and that's fine - I just think he's a cool person and would like to be his friend. How do I befriend him without him thinking that I'm hitting on him or coming off like a total weirdo? I really thought that making friends would be easy but I'm finding it very difficult and at times I experience a lot of rejection. I would appreciate any advice that you may have.

1 Reply 1

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Haidut~

Welcome here, I am very pleased to read that you are better than you were after such a long illness. In 13 years a whole lot happens, illness tends to make the world shrink, possibly family, possibly medical personnel, perhaps others. I'd imagine the easy social skills that others acquire in everyday life might take extra effort too.

So now you are out and exploring a world that might not have been available to you before. Actually I suspect having a concerted effort to befriend as many as you can is a little unusual and people may not know how to respond, or even shy off.

I'm not sure there is any way to approach someone of the opposite sex and seek friendship without there being some thought it might lead to closer contact. I guess you deal with each subsequent meeting as instinct suggests and see what happens.

If I might suggest, don't rush. Unless you have some sort of medical inspired time limit just concentrate for the most part on activities, and relate to the people you meet though them in a relaxed manner. As time goes on you will inevitably end up with a fair number of people you know.

Do you have specific interests you can follow? Painting or other art, reading, sport and so on in which you can take part? Things that while you can enjoy them by yourself lend themselves to being in a group.

The other thing I've found is that most people appreciate straight talk. There is nothing wrong with you saying you'd like friendship and nothing more. Even if some might find this a little unusual it will set boundaries for a while, and those that can't handle it probably are not people you'd want to associate with anyway.

Please let us know how you get on.

Croix