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Help with daughters lack of empathy

Community Member

Hi All

This is my first time posting on here but I just am stuck and really don’t know where else to go for help.
My daughter has for the past 2 1/2 years had an eating disorder and all of my and her partner of 4 years energy has been put into watching and guiding her (with the help of professionals) to help her get on top of what is a horrible disease.
She during the last part of last year was then also put on some antidepressants to help with anxiety (of which I also suffer from)

My issue now is that in the last few months she has been pulling away from both of us and berating us for asking about her and generally caring for her well being.
Last week she abruptly ended her 4 year relationship stating that she just doesn’t care or love her partner anymore.
Our mother/daughter relationship is also suffering as I try and guide her through an uncertain time and she pushes away preferring to go out with her girlfriends (who didn’t have anything to do with her whilst she was at her lowest) and them telling me to back off and leave her to live while they celebrate “having their friend back”

My question is do I sit back and watch this and assume that it is part of her recovery or is she just self sabotaging in another way? I am beyond worried to the point where my own mental health is suffering and I continually argue with her which ends with both of us getting upset.
Any advice would be greatly received

always worried

3 Replies 3

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hello Always Worried,

Welcome to the forum,

I'm not sure what to advise, so, on the off-chance you don't already have this info, which is all I can think of, please try calling The Butterfly Foundation on their National Helpline, 1800 33 4673.

I am aware there people here who understand much more than I, so I just wanted to welcome you. 😸

All my best to you & your family.


Community Champion
Community Champion

hello and welcome to the forums.

this is a safe place where you can chat with others, and receive support in a non-judgemental way.

you mentioned that you have medication and so does your daughter?

my dad, now elderly, had been on medication for too many years before I found out. Though i don't know how things might have worked out if I had known earlier. Perhaps I was/am hoping that sense of being alone when it all started was not no present.

I guess or I wonder how much your daughter knows about your story? Your hopes and dreams? And hers? Also listening ... Of course, she needs to want to talk to you. And if she is an adult then watching what is happening can be hard.

You might also want to look at the pages on the web site about supporting someone else.

Please be kind and look after yourself also. Otherwise it can be harder to look after your family also.

listening to you.

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Always worried, and welcome to the site.

If I can put this in the same category as when someone is suffering from any type of depression, we suggest that we don't ask too many questions and let them open up when they want to, the same might apply here, may be your daughter doesn't want to be told or continually asked about what's bothering her, it may be annoying for her, although your intentions are good.

She may prefer going out with her g/friends where nothing is mentioned and no questions are asked, although I realise you are trying to help her, and may be she can associate with one of her friends in another way.

This doesn't mean you can't keep an eye on her but just pull away from her a little bit, depending on how she is going.

Best wishes.