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He doesn’t understand

Community Member

Both my partner and I suffer from anxiety and depression and work in progressions that deal with mental health.
a few weeks ago I told my partner that I have been feeling suicidal again which I didn’t want to do because I don’t want extra attention from him, I just want to be me. He has been asking me how I feel since and my responses have been “ok” or “good” he keeps reacting to this as me keeping my feelings inside. I tried to explain to him that me being ok is me actually being ok because I’m alive today. I feel like the best I can be is alive right now. We have also been fighting heaps and he keeps throwing it in my face that I am not fighting for us anymore. I told him I have no fight in me for anything at the moment. I love him and no doubt I am pushing him away because right now I don’t want to be alive let alone fight to be alive. I just want him to be there and be normal. Why can’t he give me that! It takes a lot for me to open up. Maybe I need to let him walk away so he doesn’t have to deal with my depression. I always feel like it’s not ok for me not be ok when I am around him.

4 Replies 4

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion


It is very common for people with mental illness to crave support, the problem is that the suicide rate is nearly 3 times more than the road toll. Any wonder your bf is concerned.

Without talking to him his maturity level might be low as many young men are and so he cannot give much support.

The cycle you are experiencing needs to be broken by a short holiday. Also you can be more convincing when you answer him because he is concerned for your welfare


Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Nikkibear,

It sounds to me that you have a wonderful partner who loves and cares a lot for you...I think he keeps asking you how you’re feeling because he cares a lot about you and your mh...and he is worried about you...

If it was reversed and your partner told you he was suicidal, how do you think you would react to him?....I’m sure you would be asking him out of concern and love how he was feeling....It’s all about love, concern and needing to know the other partner is safe...

Maybe..try to sit down with him and talk out your feelings and how his constantly asking how you are is getting you down more...and let him know how he can best support you..

Kind thoughts and hugs..🤗.


Community Member

Thanks guys. I know he is super caring and I am thankful for that, I probably don’t tell him enough. I guess the bugger picture is the conflict cycle we get in when he doesn’t believe that I am ok. Tonight I’m walking away and going out with some girlfriends (not something I normally do) I need to be with people who let me be me and not question it.

Thanks for getting back to us.

Please use the search bar to put this next thread in. If you are both committed to what that thread suggests, you’ll work through conflict much easier-

relationship strife- the peace pipe