Have had a hard week

[Kez77]

I have had to work 5am-5pm all week and Saturday as co worker is on holidays and no replacement so been doing a 2 person job.  Was hoping my partner would step in and help out for me instead was more like he felt abandoned and made this worse by arguing over nothing and causing more stress which wasn't needed.  Work did not even check in on me to see if ok or need a break or any help.  I n a way is a good sign for run whole of North Queensland and obviously no issues for no one contacted me lol.  I put on dinner in slow cooker and preplanned the whole week out and work from home so when go to bathroom throw on the washing or empty dishwasher and keep up with house duties in between.  But still wasn't enough and still more arguments over nothing.  Not sure what more I could do when He only worked 6-3 to days of the week and 4 hours 1 other day the others had off but still I was doing all.  Arguments make me feel he felt abandoned and that I was putting work before him for I would finish serve up dinner have a shower and go to bed for my job is very stressful and mentally exhausting.   Just feeling really low and frustrated and sad for when he works long days I am always there to support him and make sure everything is done for him so doesn't have to worry about anything but relaxing when not working.  Thought would be the same but was totally opposite.  Just needed to express my feeling and get it out for don't want it to bring me sown for only have 1 day off and back to work again .  

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

You brought back memories of my 1st marriage. I worked 3 job (one 12 hour shift work) so my wife could stay at home and be the homemaker... I ended up doing the washing, ironing, changed nappies more than her and after 11 years it all ended. Other people couldnt understand why she didnt have any drive or consideration... basically she was lazy and in her childhood she had everything done by other people. So at 19 and me 29yo I'd married a child.

Not much difference to your situation. Your partner isnt thinking about your situation at all, very clearly looks like selfishness to me but in the least deserves sorting out hopefully by a counsellor because this attitude will not vanish with only objections by you.

When my wife is busy (we are retired but even if she goes to guitar practice etc) I dont even ask her if I can do jobs, I look in the laundry and put washing on, cook meals etc. Primarily we act like the old way of my work is outside hers inside but to take up the slack is a responsibility he she have. 

The only thing I can suggest is that (to go half way) is to suggest to him early on in the day that "tonight we'll go out for dinner". But that doesnt solve the core issues.

I'm sorry I dont have a remedy. Unfortunately a good chunk of people today arent considerate and therefore "love and care" has limits unless its about them.

TonyWK