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Former Ice addict 26 yr old son moved back home . It’s really bad.

JuzzyWuzzyWoo
Community Member

Hi. Our son has lost everything ( he was very successful and saved a lot of money). Met his partner and she was 18 yrs older than him. She knew he had a solid bank account and in 6 months they spent his $100k on substances , gambling and alcohol. 

Once the money  ran out she got rid of him. He became an addict. Nasty, mean and a monster. He was taken to MHealth for 2 months and now he’s moved back to our home as he’s nowhere else to go.

Im being mentally abused every day. It hurts. He lives rough. Sleeps, eats and smokes cigs. He picks fights, and says the cruelest things. I want him to move out but his father( my husband) says no he’s our son. I can’t cope with it. I’ve put up and it’s making me walk on eggshells and I cry every day( I’m not a sook) but to be constantly sworn at... I just can’t take it. I’ve asked him to move out and he says No. I’ve been nice, I’ve been firm, even been mean but nothing works.  He thinks it’s his right to be here. He told me to pack my bags and take a holiday! He ideally wants him and his father living in our home and me gone. I’ve had police here as he threatened to physically assault us both. I’ve installed cctv but I need him gone. He’s such a horrible person now but when he was younger he was the nicest, kindest and sensible boy ever. I’m just broken but my husband is living in hope our son will switch back to the guy he used to be ( not going to happen). How do I get my hubby to see our son needs to leave our home? It’s so hard and hurtful to endure this  verbal abuse every single day.

15 Replies 15

Petal22
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi JuzzyWuzzyWoo,

 

Wellcome to our forums and I'm so sorry you are going through this.

 

An addiction of any kind is hard to deal with and yourself watching your son doing this must feel so soul destroying it's just devastating.

 

Your husband sounds very hopeful and he believes that there is hope that your son may one day be his old self before the ice addiction began.

 

Please let me tell you that yes there is hope but for your son to also see this and want this may take time, sometimes people with some kind of addiction can end up in prison due to them trying to fuel their addiction.

 

I just wanted to give you this information that you may want to google just to give you that hope if you want to.

 

Kyle Quilly Quilausing he once had a bright and promising future until he met a drug called crystal meth he became an addict. He spent 10 years in a high custody prison.

He walked out of prison sober.  he is now a motivational speaker and he has dedicated himself to help as many kids as he can and to educate them on the POWER OF THEIR CHOICES.

 

Im so sorry for the way your son treats you I understand that it's so horrible I really do.

 

Drugs and what they do to people is just heartbreaking.

 

I really hope and pray that yourself and your husband will one day get your son back. 

 

 

 

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello JuzzyWuzzyWoo, I have tried to reply back to you but something has gone wrong, because when I type 3 short paragraphs it tells me I have exceeded 2500 word limit, I'll try again but post this through first.

Geoff.

Life Member.

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello I can't get my comment through to you, and will keep trying, but Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800, by phone, web chat or online will be able to help you and your son.

I know someone who has been in exactly the same position as you and my heart opens up to you.

Geoff.

Life Member.

Thankyou Petal 22. I just can’t understand why this is happening. We raised our sons in a respectful way and instilled good values and morals. We also from an early age discouraged them on cig smoking ( as both my parents died young from cigs) but to have my son on Ice and his disgusting attitude is really a nightmare. Thankyou for your lovely reply. I really appreciate it as I’m feeling so distraught , alone and so low which is the opposite of who I usually am. I just have to get it together! Thankyou. Juzzy

Thankyou Geoff. I am appreciative of your thoughts and thankyou for your reply. I’m sorry it couldn’t go through to read. But thankyou for reaching out. Juzzy

That’s Ok 😊 

 

I understand that sometimes we try to internalise things and work out why something is happening the way it is we just don’t understand why.

 

Yourself and your husband have done nothing wrong you raised your son in the best way that you could.

 

Its unfortunate that your son made a poor choice and in turn became an addict, I understand it’s so sad also to see your son in the state he is in.

 

I really do understand the nightmare you are living it’s a really horrible thing to go through to watch your loved one behave in such a a way.

 

I’m sorry you feel so low, have you thought about having a chat to your gp about the way you are feeling?

 

 

It was a rather big step to join and write on this forum! I just need to keep busy ( have my cry) then get on with it. I don’t think I’m ready to tell another human  in person as it’s taken me since December last year to open up. 

Thankyou Anyhow. It’s really nice to be able to vent here and have someone care. I’m grateful for your texts, Thankyou. 

Thank you for joining us on this forum JuzzyWuzzyWoo we are all a very friendly non judgmental community.

 

Keeping busy is a good thing, please remember you aren't the one with the addiction your son is, please don't feel guilty for doing things for yourself.

Go out with friends, exercise do the things that make you happy. Sometimes when we live with an addict we become absorbed into the way this person is acting and what they are doing.

 

I understand the nightmare sometimes wishing you could just wake up and things would be different but they aren't maybe some day they will be. Sometimes we just need to accept the way things are at the present moment and trust that something positive will change.

 

I understand it's hard to open up with how we are really feeling and what are reality is at the moment but just remember none of it is your fault.

 

Is your son interested in any type of rehabilitation or talking to his gp?😊

 

Happy to support you, please chat to us any time.

You are so right Petal 22. Yes I need to get on with my own life.... but I’m such a private person and like my own privacy and quiet.

 I’ve been looking for jobs for him but he’s so lazy and doesn’t try.  I did a resume for him and sent some away. One job offered him $380 a day and my son said No. He said at least $400 a day!

Seriously!!!! He told me again he’s never leaving. I just need him gone as I’m at that stage he’s got to go. He doesn’t contribute but eats, drinks and uses us and my husband won’t pull him up on it. I just can’t understand why.

He has a mental health social worker but doesn’t communicate with her. He is a misogynist and says the most dreadful disrespectful things about women. It’s like who is this person?

His ex gf is trying to call him ( she’s 45 and he’s 26) so he won’t block her. He is infatuated by her. She’s the one who introduced him to ice. 

I just want him to leave. Thanks for your ear!