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Feeling embarrassed and regretful

Community Member

I recently had a "thing" with a girl who I met through our mutual best friend for about 2 months. The whole time she was very hard to read and would send me snap chats about being single or tell me her ex was staying the night but only told me so I knew she wasn't interested in sleeping with anyone else. After she told me that she asked if I was angry and that there's nothing to be angry about. The whole time I never said anything about these things she would do because I hate confrontation. It got to a point where I was sobbing and extremely upset so our mutual best friend told me to just delete her off Facebook, and so I did against my own wishes. The girl got really mad at me and when I explained how she was making me feel she didn't really acknowledge it and just made me feel like the bad one who ruined everything.

After this conversation I didn't want to talk to her again because I was sure she hated me and she had said well we are just friends now I guess. The next day she was asking me how my day was and acting as if nothing happened so I was extremely confused because she had made it seem like I hurt her really bad and the conversation went back to normal. After a few weeks of this I asked her if we were genuinely just friends because I still like her, and she told me yes just friends. I accepted this and stopped talking to her so much so I could distance myself and try and get over her, but sometimes she would do or say things that made me feel like she still liked me. She would send me snap chats in her bra, and gave me her number to call her when I was out one night if I needed a lift home. I understand these are things you may do for someone who is just a friend, but when you like someone and you've recently been in an intimate relationship with them it can feel like more.

A few nights ago I told her sometimes it feels like she is sending me mixed signals and I told her I understand you don't do it intentionally but that's just how I feel because I still like you and I'm obviously reading into it too much. She got really defensive and told me she has done nothing to make me feel that way and she sends pictures like that to other people too.

I feel extremely embarrassed & ashamed and think I've ruined the friendship I did have with this girl and maybe even my best friend. I wish I never said anything and I can't shake this feeling of regret and embarrassment and constantly overthinking things. I don't know how to stop feeling this way.

1 Reply 1

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Wildflower,

i don’t think that you should be embarrassed. It sounds to me like this girl is indeed sending you mixed signals. Pictures of her in bra are not pictures that you send to “just a friend”. It crosses a boundary. I may be wrong, but it sounds like she is stringing you along. She is the one who should be embarrassed. I would limit , or stop contact and don’t regret the past, you have learnt something to go forward into future relationships with. The feelings will pass if you distance yourself.