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Fear of dating

Community Member

Hi there, I’m in my 20’s and never been in a relationship. I have considered joining online dating to meet and talk with people. However, the thought of it and then potentially going on a date makes me very anxious. To the point that I would rather not meet anyone. I’m scared at the thought of introducing to my family, I won’t have enough time, I just don’t know what to do.

Any advice?

4 Replies 4

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Ladyflower,

Welcome to this forum . 20 is young and there is no pressure no timeline ..nothing that says that you should date . I feel it is best you just take it nice and slow and let it happen organically .Personally I wouldn’t recommend a dating online .

There are many ways to meet new people .

Don’t put pressure on yourself that it has to be a date .

make new friends.. join a new hobby group or something . Pursue a art or something ...so like u r doing an activity versus trying to find someone to date .

it could be a book club or something you enjoy doing ...and then you might meet someone or you might not ...but see there’s no pressure at all and that’s when things can flow a little better and it’s less daunting . The key is perhaps you are doing an activity that you enjoy and the rest will hopefully follows .

i hope this makes sense for you . Don’t stress about it at all ..as it will eventually happen . It usually comes around when you least expect it .good luck with it . I hope this helps you

Community Member

IsaJett is right. Take it easy, there’s no hurry. More life mistakes are made by rushing into situations than by being a little late to the party.

I’ve never used a dating site but from what I’ve read, they seem to have their share of ugly stories. Try and enjoy a healthy network of friends of both sexes and when you least expect it, someone will ask you out.

And when that happens, one thing I can almost guarantee you, your date will probably be more nervous than you!

Community Member

Hi LadyFlower,

I also sort of feel this way. I was raised in a conservative religion and went to an all-girls' high school, then studied a fairly female-dominated course, so I didn't really even have friends of the opposite sex from ages 12-22! I'm also pretty socially awkward anyway, especially in anything approaching a romantic situation, and I have to admit that this "fear of dating" is probably part of what's holding me back.

It's a real struggle. Sometimes I feel like I'll never feel comfortable enough to get close to someone (emotionally or physically), let alone become physically intimate.

However, I have had some success in trying to "get out there" and engage in activities in mixed-gender groups (e.g. hobbies, causes). This has made me feel more comfortable talking to guys and relating to them in social situations, and I have been on a couple of dates and was even briefly in a ?kind-of potential? relationship (it was LDR and then two dates that went badly, unfortunately).

I haven't had much success with online dating, but I've also not had many of the horror stories you hear about (unsolicited dick pics, etc); the worst is mainly 40+ year old guys liking/messaging you. (Nothing against 40+ year old guys but if I have stated on my profile that my preference is 23-30 -- I'm 25 -- then it's kind of creepy to message me when you're 52.)

Thank you all for the responses. It is something that concerns but it will happen when it does. I just have a panic attack at the the thought of a date and want that to change somehow. But it will happen in time hopefully