I ended my relationship with my partner two days ago. It is not true that the person who ends it has an easier time. When I ended the r/ship I had not been thinking of it for days or even weeks on end. I still absolutely loved my partner when I ended it. I still do love her very much. I ended it because we had a short yet painful row.
I was under extreme stress and pressure from many things. Big and small. Also going through a mental breakdown. My mind and heart could not cope with the argument. She said things and didn't say things that made no sense. The final blow was when she said if you cannot take responsibility we have nothing. A powerful statement and a knife straight through my heart. In that moment I said that is it, the relationship is over, I am done, we are done and I am moving out.
I also said not long after that, that we will not be sleeping together anymore. It's inappropriate, we are no longer together. I saw the look on her face of what I interpret as please do not abandon me. I have however stuck to it and we have not been sleeping together. I miss sleeping with her terribly to be honest.
I did not want to end the relationship, I felt there was no longer any other choice. I went through something similar with her almost a month ago now. I was rebuilding my trust in her and the relationship as well as my safety. She promised that person would never come back. I actually do know she tried very very hard to keep that cruel, cutting, non-feeling person away. She is devastated that she has caused me such pain. I watch her struggle and want to help. I'm just scared to get hurt. Scared to trust. I feel like I am very protective of me. I still love her. There is lots to love and I miss her. I need to talk this out with someone.
